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Allan Sherman - The Drinking Man's Diet Lyrics

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  • Oh, I'm on the Drinking Man's Diet,
  • It came from a book I was loaned.
  • It's really terrific and quite scientific
  • And I'm half stoned.
  • For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka,
  • But cornflakes have carbohydrate;
  • So I don't eat those fattening cornflakes,
  • I eat the vodka straight.
  • Drink, drink, everyone drink;
  • It's not as bad as we used to think.
  • With every Manhattan your stomach will flatten,
  • So drink, drink, drink.
  • The Air Force invented this diet,
  • A fact which they hotly deny.
  • Of course they deny it, 'cause this is the diet
  • That got the Air Force high.
  • For lunch you can have three martinis,
  • What better lunch is there than that?
  • But caution: do not eat the olives,
  • 'Cause olives make you fat.
  • Drink, drink, everyone drink;
  • It's not as bad as we used to think.
  • If pounds you would burn off, then turn on your Smirnoff,
  • And drink, drink, drink.
  • For dinner, a nice Scotch and soda
  • Now that oughtta help you to lose.
  • No whipped cream, no butter, just lay in the gutter
  • And booze, booze, booze.
  • Suppose you should meet a policeman,
  • Who says you've been quenching your thirst;
  • You just tell him it's physical fitness
  • And health comes first!
  • Drink (hic!), drink (hic!), booze everywhere (hic!);
  • Pass that decanter of bourbon there.
  • I'm fatter than ever, but here's what's so clever:
  • I don't care!
  • sallysally@usa.net

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