Blink 182 - Words Of Wisdom LyricsTom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for...Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist colonyTom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one timeMark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out *****, they love you TomTom: They love me so ***** everybody elseMark: Yea ***** all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hellTom: Yea ***** that, hey I say I say ***** the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready MarkMark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alrightTom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say *****, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass holeMark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yeaTom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say ***** ***** shit *****, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kidsMark: That's rightTom: What do we do nowMark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole againTom: What's up I like your hair it's very niceMark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lotTom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you knowMark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouzeTom: Mark!Mark: WhatTom: Shut the ***** upMark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like aTom: (belch) exuse meMark: Exuse TomTom: SorryMark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tournimentTom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right *****ing now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant *****s and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom...Mark: Hey put those 13 year old *****s away, if I wanted to see 13 year old *****s I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad doesTom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth gradeMark: What's that your dad has a bent weinerTom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and still isMark: I want everyone here to scream, ***** you Tom,we *****ing hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid pieces of shitTom: I heard thatMark: ThanksTom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say hereMark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirtTom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we areMark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not trueTom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having sexMark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriendsTom: Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two vaginasMark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two ***** women while I watchTom: We need her to put her shirt back onMark: PleaseTom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's goneMark: Please I saw your *****s and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh...Tom: I lost my virinityMark: Keep an I out for itTom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee peeMark: Do you want to go pee and I'll talk to the kids for a secondTom: Do you think you can talk for enough timeMark: No uh uhTom: Why don't you gather your thoughtsMark: Why don't you just wet your pants and we'll call it evenTom: Should I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybeMark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to piss your pants right nowTom: I'll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my shitMark: SoldTom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's hurt right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right thereMark: Make a hole people make a holeTom: All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their walletMark: I wish now you know let me tell you guys something...Tom: I'm gay!Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and *****ing buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorryTom: So do I, I wish you did tooMark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for lessonsTom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know it's not that cool, he *****ed her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, ***** yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about *****ing sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you knowMark: Is there anything else in the worldTom: There's nothing else to talk aboutMark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there she's not having so much fun right now, heyTom: Uh exuse me, security guard sirMark: The one right in front of you, yeaTom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a...Mark: That's right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like oneTom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat itMark: You shave your assTom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a *****ing wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shitMark: It's trueTom: He's got a scary looking penisMark: It's true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's balls program, pleaseTom: It's for charity kidsMark: Please send what you can, donate your timeTom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark's ballsMark: We're trying to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generouslyTom: There's no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitarMark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitarTom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect meMark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasmTom: Bad kidsMark: Bad christmas spiritTom: Bad christmas spiritMark: Hey ok I need light nowTom: We're going to point out every single person that didn't singMark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and shit under all your treesTom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy ***** wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote...Mark: That guy has a science fair project up his assTom: Uh what head's up seven up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one.I think that Satan has a couple of comments:Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best buts that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan...It's me it's not Satan let's all be happy he's not here say ***** SatanAlright I'm out of jokes and out of songs, I think we're done.