Bob Ricci - Double Diet Lyrics
[Parody of "Picture" by Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow]I live on burgers, Cheetos, and ice creamGot nothing but lard in my blood streamGuess my sweet tooth was something more than a phaseBeen fueling up on cupcakes and TwinkiesGained so much weight my girl left meShe said to call her if I ever change my waysI put the pizza awayWent on a diet todayI can't wait till I get thin then I'll show herI put the pizza awayI'm gonna lose some weightI can't wait till I get thin then I'll show herI missed you last night at the hotelI even missed your bacon and beer smellThen it finally dawned on me how to make things rightI pulled up to a fast food venueOrdered everything on the menuTime to go back home and stuff my facePicked up a pizza todayI'm gonna power bingeI'm gonna eat till nothing's left in the fridgeI'm gonna hit the buffetI'm gonna gain some weightI can't wait till I get fat then I'll show himBeen hitting Ben and Jerry's for breakfastYou know I finally got the hang of this Slim FastSince you've been goneI've been gaining/losing so much weightI've been jogging instead of taking the carI've been eating mayonaise straight from the jarI was making dessertI was off to lift some weightsNow I'm liking what I see on the scaleSo I sent a picture out in the mailOh hey look you sent one tooLet's just.. whoa, hey wait / OMG!I saw your picture todayI see you've changed your waysYou know I think I liked you better the way you wereI saw your picture todayI see you lost/gained some weightI just called to say don't bother to come back homeI just called to say don't bother to come back home