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Egoraptor - Luigi's Ballad Lyrics

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  • Luigi:Princess Peach,
  • Won't you listen to my speech?
  • I don't have any stars of invincibility.
  • But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me,
  • I'm your Luigi!
  • Mario: What up, *****?!
  • I got a 1UP, *****!
  • What's inside that Question Block?
  • It's my dick!
  • It's-a-me a-Mario;
  • I'm more italian than pastrami,
  • I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami!
  • I saved you from dragons and evil boos that are spooky!
  • Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki?
  • I will mount you like yoshi and show you things you've never seen!
  • My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean,
  • So suck it!
  • Luigi: Mario,
  • You always do this shit!
  • I like a girl and you ruin it!
  • By yelling stuff about your dick,
  • Until they go away!
  • Peach: hey, Luigi, it's okay!
  • That Mario's a bit risqu?,
  • Just tell me what you need to say!
  • Please don't be afraid!
  • Luigi: Oh, princess!
  • It means so much for me to hear you say that.
  • The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-
  • GOD DAMN IT!
  • Mario: I'm here to pleasure that ass!
  • I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always cum last,
  • And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone,
  • Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones!
  • I am tired of your run-around, it's such a *****in' hassle,
  • I go through shit and then you're in another *****in' castle!
  • You gotta think about it? Well I dont believe the hype
  • You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe!
  • Peach: OMG!
  • I can't decide on which of you should be the quy to take me on a mustache ride that'll redefine my life!
  • Luigi & Peach: I'm ready to give a shot!
  • It's not about how many coins you got,
  • I just know I like you a lot!
  • Mario: Yo sluts! Check out my yacht!
  • Luigi: Let me take you on a magic kart ride!
  • Mario: I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside!
  • Luigi: We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along.
  • Mario: I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong!
  • Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice!
  • I'm the only plumber that can make your *****ies rejoice!
  • Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me!
  • It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea! (nis)
  • [music stops]
  • Mario: So, who's it going to be Princess?
  • Peach: I choose... Toad!
  • Mario & Luigi: TOAD?
  • Peach: Well, his whole body's shaped like a dick...
  • Mario & Luigi: oh yeah yeah definitely, toads are shaped like dicks

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