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Godley & Creme - The Problem Lyrics

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  • If a man, A, who weighs 11 stone
  • leaves from his home at 8:30 in the morning
  • in a car whose consumption is 16.25 mpg
  • at an average speed of 40 m.p.h.
  • to his office which is 12 miles away
  • and he stops for a coffee on the way for 15 minutes
  • and also puts air in one of his tyres
  • which has a slow puncture
  • letting out air at a rate of 2 lbs per square inch
  • per mile travelled
  • when the car is moving at 32 m.p.h.
  • and he picks up a hitch-hiker B
  • who weighs 14 stone plus suitcase
  • But hitch-hiker B who is a political activist
  • distributes leaflets from his suitcase
  • each of which weigh an ounce
  • at the scale of 2 leaflets per person
  • at every bus stop
  • and every vehicle on either side of them
  • at every red traffic light during the journey
  • which includes 20 bus stops
  • with an average of 6 people per stop
  • 5 lorries each with a passenger
  • one of which exchanged a Yorkie Bar
  • weighing an ounce for 12 of the leaflets
  • and 2 coaches each containing 51 people
  • 7 of which from one coach returned the leaflets
  • and 16 people from the other coach
  • who asked for a further leaflet
  • each for a member of one of their families
  • Assuming that man A
  • then had to travel a further 2.86 miles
  • out of his way to drop off hitch-hiker B
  • how late would man A be
  • in arriving at the office by 9:30 a.m.?
  • If he still had 6 miles to travel
  • and his watch was running 23 minutes slow
  • but the clock at the office was running
  • 2 minutes faster than his
  • was in fact 17 minutes and 3 secs ahead
  • of the correct time
  • which was 2:30 in the morning in Caracas
  • If when 5 miles from the office
  • he telephoned his boss
  • to apologize for being late
  • but was told by his boss C
  • to pick up a package 2.63 miles away
  • from his present location
  • and deliver it to client D in Bristol by train,
  • by 4:30 that afternoon
  • and at the same time man D
  • was mistakenly told to come to London
  • to receive same package from man A
  • Now man A's train, train 1,
  • left 30 mins. late
  • but man D's train, train 2,
  • left 5 mins early
  • so when the trains passed each other
  • train 1 was travelling at 75 m.p.h.
  • to make up for lost time
  • and train 2 was travelling at 52 m.p.h.
  • Would man A reach Bristol earlier or later
  • according to his watch
  • which was now running 5 mins. slower
  • than man D's would have been
  • had he not got off the train
  • and checked the correct time
  • at a station between Bristol and London
  • and stopped to phone A's boss, man C
  • to double check A would be there to meet him
  • and discover his mistake
  • catch next train, train 3, back to Bristol
  • which unlike A's train 1
  • which stopped at 4 stations on the way
  • for 6 mins each stop
  • was an express train
  • D's train caught up with A's train 1
  • 4 miles from Bristol
  • As the trains drew alongside each other
  • A's train was travelling at 12 m.p.h.
  • and D's train was travelling at 13.6 m.p.h.
  • and man A was sat in the front
  • How long would it take to fill the bath

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