Great Imitation - Until The Skin Lyrics
It breaks, it breaks and tears away... I've asked her 1, 000 times if she's alright and I'm less and less convinced by her each reply of 'I'm fine'.Swathed in pale bedside lamp light, she's never looked more beautiful or refinedI'm rolling over back on my back staring at the biege wall we painted once when things were differentShe's turning her back to me and murmurs her 'goodnights' to me lacklusterlyClicks off the lamplight that ushers in swathed and depths of velveteen evening this nightI put my thin and withered arm and wrist over her deep and rhythmically breathing chestI'm rolling over behind her, trying and wishing and hoping to be noticed, but she doesn't noticeShe's stiff and resistant to my touch at which her skin withers and creeps and I retract my armAnd my heavy and laden eyelids drift shut and as they do I see me, not through my own eyesIn a 3rd person perspective, creeping into the kitchen and grabbing the breadknife tight in my right handPadding my way back up the stairs to where she's sleeping and momentarily kneeling beside her prostrate frameFeeling nothing but the warm handle in my sweat slicked palmAll of a sudden I find that I'm driving the blade with an awful force fully into her forehead, where a sickening vermillion grin spreadsWhere she used to frown in incomprehension at meBegins spewing disgusting, ugly crimson upon the crisp white sheets she cleaned recentlyShe doesn't move a muscle becomes vague and fades awayAnd I'm left with the nothingness that usuall resides behind my eyelids as I drift off into unconsioucsnessSince you started to tear us apartI can only hope my fingernails leave sore and bleeding scratch marksJesus, how can he be so needy, I can see that he needs me but just recently he's quite simply been the last thing that I needWhy couldn't he just let me be and be quiet while we watch some mindless TV?Grabbing at my hands and shoulders, *****ing utterly suffocating me.I don't mean to be mean so I don't say anything then he sits staring forlornly directionAsking if I'm alright to which I reply I'm fine, which isn't enough of a response apparentlyThen he asks me again and again and I'm doing my best not to lose my temper.Said that I was going to bed just after 10 to get some small space and put things into perspectiveTry to figure out if this slump we're in is permanent and when the rot first set in was when we should have left it.But I love him deep down, there's once a time when I couldn't picture my life without him in itBut in these recent weeks it's seemed to me that those crazy, hazy days are over and finally finished.Can't hide my irritation when he says he's coming to bed and I'm disgusted and surprised by the disgustI feel by his pathetic expression of being wounded on his face and in his eyes.Now I'm heavily breathing, pretending to be sleeping, he lols his *****ing arm across me wihtout any consideration for the fact that I'm finally resting.And I feel like I'm having to bite my tongue bloody to not wheels around and scream, 'get the ***** off me'I can't believe that I've let myself spend so many nights rigid in misery because I feel chained, restrained, pained by guilt and historyAnd it sickens me that he'd rather be a part of this horrific heart ache than risk being on his own and lonely.Nothing makes sense, except one thing and of that I'm sureI don't want him to love me any more... And I'll be holding on until the skin breaks
