Groucho Marx - Laws Of The Administration Lyrics
Spoken:Lady:If it's not asking too much,Sung:For our informationJust for illustrationTell us how you intend to run the nationRufus T. Firefly:These are the laws of my administrationNo one's allowed to smokeOr tell a dirty jokeAnd whistling is forbiddenChorus:We're not allowed to tell a dirty jokeHail, hail FreedoniaRufus:If chewing gum is chewedThe chewer is pursuedAnd in the hoosegow hiddenChorus:If we choose to chew we'll be pursuedRufus:If any form of pleasure is exhibitedReport to me and it will be prohibitedI'll put my foot down, so shall it beThis is the land of the freeThe last man nearly ruined this placeHe didn't know what to do with itIf you think this country's bad off now,Just wait 'til I get through with itThe country's taxes must be fixedAnd I know what to do with itIf you think you're paying too much nowJust wait till I get through with it*Whistle*I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfairI'm strictly on the up-and-up, so everyone bewareIf any man's caught taking graft, and I don't get my shareWe stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weaselChorus:So everyone beware, you're stricken or unfair-------unless he gets his shareRufus:If any man should come between a husband and his brideWe'll find out which one she prefers by letting her decideIf she prefers the other man, the husband steps outsideWe stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weaselChorus:The husband steps outside, relinquishes his brideThey stand him up against the wall and take him for a ride.
