Irving Berlin - The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball Lyrics
I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma landNothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sandOne day father started digging in a fieldHoping to find some soilHe dug and he dug and what do you think?Oil, oil, oilThe money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so highWashington was my destinationAnd now who am I?I'm the chosen party giverFor the White House clienteleAnd they know that I deliverWhat it takes to make 'em jellAnd in Washington I'm known by one and allAs the hostess with the mostes' on the ballThey could go to Elsa MaxwellWhen they had an axe to grindThey could always grind their axe wellAt the parties she designedNow the hatchet grinders all prefer to callOn the hostess with the mostes' on the ballI've a great big bar and good caviarYes, the best that can be foundAnd a large amount in my bank accountWhen election time comes 'roundIf you're feeling presidentialYou can make it, yes, indeedThere are just three things essentialLet me tell you all you needIs an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gallAnd the hostess with the mostes' on the ballAn Ambassador has just reached the shoreHe's a man of many lovesAn important gent from the OrientTo be handled with kid glovesHe can come and let his hair downHave the best time of his lifeEven bring his new affair downIntroduce her as his wifeBut she mustn't leave her panties in the hallFor the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball[Encore:]I've been highly complimentedAnd I thank you what is moreYou'll be damned well representedBy your new ambassadorFor my one ambition is to make them fallFor the hostess with the mostes' on the ballIn the handbag that I'll carryThere's a precious little noteTo their highnesses from HarryIntroducing me he wrote:"I'll appreciate a favor large or smallFor the hostess with the mostes' on the ball"There'll be no mistakes, I've got what it takesTo make friends across the seaI'll make being smart an important partOf my foreign policyI'll cement our good relationsWhen I give my first affairThere'll be special invitationsTo the Duke and Duchess thereWho's already written asking them to callNot the priestess with the leastes'But the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball