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Jonathan Coulton - Todd The T1000 Lyrics

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  • Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to call Jane
  • Really good at cleaning and we got along fine so I couldn't complain
  • Lately she'd been getting tangled up in the shag rug
  • And finally one wheel just wouldn't spin
  • So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in
  • This new one's kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside with his idiot grin
  • He's head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide under translucent skin
  • Sometimes he'll stand for hours looking into the mirror
  • And flexing like some guy at the gym
  • And I'm easily ten inches shorter than him
  • Todd the T1000 scares me
  • I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist
  • And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
  • And when I look over he is making a fist
  • One finger at a time
  • I ask him if he'll vacuum and he doesn't respond, but I know that he heard
  • I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I'm gone and he flips me the bird
  • I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom
  • But I don't think I'm safe anywhere
  • When I wake in the dark I can tell that he's there
  • Todd the T1000 scares me
  • I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist
  • And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
  • And when I look over he is making a fist
  • One finger at a time
  • So I live like a ghost while he's living like me
  • It's not my house anymore
  • And I sneak out the door while he's watching TV
  • Head down to the cyborg store
  • I get some new arms installed at the store
  • Buy the biggest ones I can
  • Head back to my house, Todd answers the door
  • He sees more than just a man
  • My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and the left one's a saw
  • I cut the couch in half and I smash the TV with my big smashy claw
  • He's standing still and silent, I can't tell what he's thinking
  • He blinks a single glowing red eye
  • So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry
  • Todd the T1000 scares me
  • But I think he knows I've got right to exist
  • And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
  • But when he looks over I am making a fist
  • One finger at a time

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