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Mc Lyte - Absolutely Positively..... Practical Jokes Lyrics

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  • I play practical jokes, just to get a laugh (ha hah)
  • I put roaches in my neighbors bubblebath
  • But anyway one day she called upon me
  • She said, lyte - its an emergency!
  • My next door neighbor had an errand to run
  • I said, why ms. davis - ask your son
  • She said, rickys at his grandmothers
  • I said, well what about tommy, the younger brother?
  • She said, see, umm, hes at the pharmacy
  • I said, hell be back soon how much longer could it be?
  • She said, cmon please, its just a trip uptown
  • If you leave right now youll be back before sundown
  • Hurry up, theres not a moment to spare
  • It absolutely positively has to get there
  • Umm, I contemplated then I played a good samaritan
  • I started the car, then she threw the package in
  • It absolutely positively has to get there
  • (get there? )
  • It absolutely positively has to get there
  • (well then send it federal express!)
  • It absolutely positively has to get there
  • (it gotta get there? )
  • It absolutely positively got to get there!
  • (yo who you rushin? )
  • Pumpin out the music on the fdr
  • Not far behind me was a dt car
  • So I eased up selector, 55 the digit
  • But on the fdr, 40 is the limit
  • Here they come, sirens on
  • I could see myself in jail til the break of dawn
  • But they rolled right by it wasnt me they was after
  • A little red corvette, they was tryin to capture
  • Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket
  • Look up ahead, now thats what I call traffic
  • Dipped to an exit and I made my way through
  • Couldnt believe when I hit first avenue
  • On a hondas ass, just about to crash
  • Looked at the gauge and the shit said no gas
  • Zero, nada, nothing in here see
  • In car terms the shit was on empty
  • Got out, and pushed the shit to the side
  • Hailed a cab, then I caught a quick ride
  • To the house of inflation, yes the gas station
  • Gave a little tip to show my appreciation
  • Got back to the ave where I left my car
  • It wasnt there, but it couldnt have gone far
  • Hot damn, I must have got towed
  • Tried to figure out how much money I owed
  • Went to the pound and I paid my debt
  • Think that was the worst? you aint heard nuttin yet
  • Bumped into that crackhead sam I used to see
  • And like always, hand out, give me money
  • In my tank was a dollars worth of gas
  • I had to get an ? machine fast
  • It absolutely positively has to get there
  • (get there? )
  • It absolutely positively got to get there
  • (what? )
  • It absolutely positively got to get there
  • (well send it some way else)
  • It absolutely positively has to get there
  • As I left the bank to walk back to the bm
  • Couldnt believe what my eyes were seein
  • Looked at the back tire, it was flate
  • While the other three, were so damn fat
  • A brother walked by and offered his help
  • Ordinarily I woulda did the shit myself
  • But he, changed it quick, so I passed him a ten
  • Here I go on this journey again
  • Went to the gas station, to fill it up
  • When a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump
  • I said, look, I dont need your help today
  • And I scared the mother*****er and he was on his way
  • Oops, a cat, shit, scrat!
  • Fur on my tires, and all that
  • Whats this, a stroke of bad luck?
  • But at this point, I dont even give a *****
  • I got to get the package to the destination
  • No matter what the confrontation
  • I arrive, bag in my hand
  • Lookin for a woman named pam
  • She opened the bag it was wrapped tight and snug
  • But in that bag yo, in that bag
  • 45, guess what? (what was it lyte? )
  • It was a box of q-tips .. a box of *****in q-tips man!!!
  • {*laughter*}

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