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Ookla The Mok - Stranger In The Mirror Lyrics

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  • It was time to make the doughnuts it was very very early
  • It was 2:37 in the afternoon
  • I turned off my alarm clock and I stumbled over several
  • Pizza boxes and my girlfriend on the way to the bathroom
  • While I waiting for the fluorescent lights
  • To flicker on I thought I saw in the dark...
  • Something was up and I couldn't tell what
  • But my mind got the sign there was something to see
  • So I shut my eyes to squeeze the image
  • Out of the back of my head but I missed my mark
  • The lights were on now and I couldn't ignore
  • There was a stranger in the mirror and he was staring at me
  • CHORUS:
  • Don't get me wrong
  • I'm not talking about some kind of figurative stranger here
  • No existential bullshit from Camus or Billy Joel
  • I'm not saying I didn't recognize myself in the mirror
  • Or that I didn't like the kind of person I saw
  • No I'm talking about an actual literal kind of stranger here
  • Like the villain in issue 104 of the Flash
  • There was no question this was not your everyday reflection
  • This was some middle aged balding Jewish guy and he had a moustache
  • There's a stranger in my mirror there's a new face on the wall
  • After that Newcastle incident I thought that I'd seen it all
  • Things like this are always happening to me
  • Well I stood there looking stupid in my twenty-dollar bathrobe
  • With my Indicator toothbrush sticking in between my teeth
  • My eyes just opened wider when I looked back in the mirror
  • And saw the stranger with his toothbrush staring back in disbelief
  • Then I ran my finger down the length of the mirror
  • To see if the stranger would follow my lead
  • Our actions were in perfect synch
  • And I wondered just exactly who was in control
  • So I grabbed my girlfriend's Lady Bic razor
  • And ran it down the length of my face to see if he would bleed
  • Blood was flowing from both of our cheeks
  • But I couldn't tell whose blood was in my shaving bowl
  • CHORUS
  • I am young enough to be this old bald fat guy's son
  • I've never even met an Arab and I don't even own a gun
  • Things like this are always happening to me
  • There was that time when the shopping mall devoured my Aunt Sue
  • And when my pet canary turned to stone I didn't know what to do
  • I scolded my basilisk from behind my mirrored shield
  • That was the same week Adrian Veidt removed my intrinsic field
  • I had nothing to lose
  • So I played the lottery
  • It was run by Shirley Jackson
  • I said, "Put down those stones,"
  • Somebody dropped my canary
  • I had a friend in a convent
  • Nergal said, "Get thee to a nunnery."
  • And another friend who stuttered and quoted Lovecraft
  • I had a girl in New York City
  • They were all killed by the Invunche
  • Or the time when I awoke from unsettling dreams
  • Transformed in my bed into a monstrous vermin
  • And those three days each August when my shadow
  • Is replaced by that of Ethel Merman
  • I'd love to tell these stories and I'm sure you like to hear
  • But right now I've got to face this stranger in my mirror
  • Well it was all quite interesting to have my doppelganger
  • But it was getting boring and I had to use the loo
  • So I leaned into the mirror and then I leaned a little closer
  • And then I leaned a little closer still and quietly said, "Boo!"
  • Well the stranger grabbed his chest and heaved and wheezed and choked
  • And hemorrhaged and fell on the floor
  • I tried to help him but unfortunately I lacked the ability to phase
  • Through solid objects like mirrors
  • And even if I could I don't know CPR
  • So I hit the lights and then quietly walked out the door
  • I could wait til tomorrow to shave
  • Or maybe I'll just give it up and grow a beard
  • Or a moustache like the dead guy who's inside of my mirror
  • CHORUS
  • There's a dead guy in my mirror there's a dead guy on the floor
  • I hope to God that I won't see that dead guy anymore
  • Things like this are always happening to me
  • If there's a moral to this story
  • Then I'd really like to hear what you think it is
  • (Tell me the moral tell me the moral
  • Tell me the moral tell me the moral)
  • Like if there's a stranger in your mirror
  • Always know which side of the room is his
  • (That's not a moral that's not a moral
  • Tell me the moral tell me the moral)
  • How about don't ever try to shave while under fluorescent lights
  • You know that that's a fact
  • (I was hoping you would say something like
  • "Nothing in this world is ever as it appears")
  • Or don't go frightening bald fat Jewish guys
  • If you don't want them having heart attacks
  • That's more like it and I guess that concludes
  • Our overlength adventures with the man in the mirror

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