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Rob Cantor - Shia Labeouf Lyrics

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  • You're walking in the woods.
  • There's no one around,
  • And your phone is dead.
  • Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
  • Shia Labeouf.
  • He's following you
  • About 30 feet back.
  • He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
  • He's gaining on you.
  • Shia Labeouf.
  • You're looking for your car,
  • But you're all turned around.
  • He's almost upon you now
  • And you can see there's blood on his face!
  • My god, there's blood everywhere!
  • Running for your life
  • (From Shia Labeouf.)
  • He's brandishing a knife.
  • (It's Shia Labeouf.)
  • Lurking in the shadows
  • Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf.
  • Living in the woods,
  • (Shia Labeouf.)
  • Killing for sport,
  • (Shia Labeouf.)
  • Eating all the bodies
  • Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf.
  • Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him,
  • But you're hopelessly lost yourself.
  • Stranded with a murderer,
  • You creep silently through the underbrush.
  • A-ha! In the distance,
  • A small cottage with a light on.
  • Hope!
  • You move stealthily toward it,
  • But your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!
  • Gnawing off your leg,
  • (Quiet, quiet.)
  • Limping toward the cottage,
  • (Quiet, quiet.)
  • Now you're on the doorstep,
  • Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf.
  • Sharpening an ax,
  • (Shia Labeouf.)
  • But he doesn't hear you enter,
  • (Shia Labeouf.)
  • You're sneaking up behind him.
  • Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf.
  • Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf,
  • Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf,
  • Stab it in his kidney.
  • Safe at last from Shia Labeouf.
  • You limp into the dark woods,
  • Blood oozing from your stump leg.
  • But you have won.
  • You have beaten Shia Labeouf
  • Wait! He isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
  • There's a gun to your head, and death in his eyes.
  • But you can do Jiu Jitsu
  • Body Slam superstar Shia Labeouf
  • Legendary fight with Shia Labeouf
  • Normal Tuesday night for Shia Labeouf
  • You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf
  • But blood is draining fast from your stump leg
  • He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
  • You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
  • You're chopping off his head now
  • You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf
  • His head topples to the floor, expressionless
  • You fall to your knees and catch your breath
  • You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf

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