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Schaffer the Darklord - Craig's List Lyrics

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  • And which is worse, a good idea that fails or a bad one with legs?
  • To be terse, your pardon I beg.
  • This first verse is the story of a boy named Craig.
  • Newmark, whose art did start while parked at a job,
  • doing computer security for Charles Schwab.
  • In '94 the bubble was still just a little glob of bubble gum
  • And no one knew the trouble'd come.
  • Craig was among the elite geek e-community.
  • The few proud who traded data electronically.
  • And to all his friends with which he shared such cameraderie,
  • He would send out a list of events that he wanted to see.
  • And that's how it all got started.
  • His idea hatched, took flight and departed.
  • Not so much a revolution as an e-solution,
  • Then a friend said "Can I use the list to rent my apartment?"
  • And another said "I'd like to sell my car on your list."
  • "And I'd like to find that girl from the party I kissed."
  • Another one tried to find the watch knocked off his wrist,
  • And another found a temp gig as an admin assist.
  • Chorus:
  • He's makin' a list (what?)
  • He's makin' a list (who?)
  • He's makin' a list (Craig?)
  • He's makin' a list (yeah)
  • Repeat Chorus
  • Well, before you know it it exploded overnight.
  • What was once a list was now a website.
  • But to his nerd values, Craig did stay true.
  • Gave some jobs to his friends, refused all advertising too.
  • And what's so great is that the users really run it,
  • Actin' like God, c'mon, everybody's done it!
  • You're readin' the list, you check a suspicious ad,
  • And like a citizen's arrest you click and give it a flag.
  • Miscategorized ads are sent for review,
  • As well as the spam, which is prohibited too.
  • Craig has faith, you will behave with civility,
  • Although the list is still rife with illegal activity.
  • Repeat Chorus 2x
  • Get a job or a haircut, sublet your house.
  • Buy a stolen bicycle, cheat on your spouse.
  • Hire an intern, post your resume,
  • Find a kinky pen pal you can IM all day.
  • Sell some concert tickets (click it) buy some used skis.
  • Give or get a blowjob, maybe a disease.
  • Find a bassist for your band and then post up a show.
  • Find a speed or coke dealer searching Tina or Snow.
  • Find homes for puppies, have phone sex with yuppies.
  • See pics of erections, or place a missed connection.
  • Find your lost journal and find a ride to Burning Man,
  • Or find an LTR in a personal ad.
  • Buy yourself some bootleg DVDs.
  • Find a horny tweaker for some PNP.
  • Log on after 3 when all the users are usin',
  • And the list is all electronic cruisin'.
  • Join a study group or a community garden.
  • Find a leather nipple pain pig and beg his pardon.
  • Post in a forum, find you a ride share.
  • Activity partners, is right above child care.
  • I'd like to thank Craig for all of his aid.
  • In finding me roommates and a job that well paid.
  • I placed up an ad for ten days, it stayed,
  • And I'm afraid that Craig's list has even gotten me laid.
  • Women seeking women seeking men seeking other,
  • Seeking friends of Susan seeking her long-lost brother.
  • Seeking work, seeking rooms, seeking a fling.
  • Seeking out the god-damn weirdest things.
  • Anything you can think, including dirty deeds.
  • Use Craig's list, you're guaranteed to succeed.
  • That's right, and you just might even find it for free.
  • Like Snoop said, "never have a want, never have a need."
  • Repeat Chorus 2x
  • Outro:
  • He's makin' a list (what?)
  • He's checkin' it twice (who?)
  • He sees you when you're sleeping (Craig?)
  • Cause he's up all night (yeah)
  • This is the only song ever written (what?)
  • 'bout a website (who?)
  • called Craigslist. You write a (Craig?)
  • line that rhymes with dot-org. (yeah)
  • Repeat Outro
  • He's makin' a list (what?)

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