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Schaffer the Darklord - Night of the Living Christ Lyrics

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  • Between BC and AD 2000 years ago
  • A man of myth and legend and stories
  • Maybe you've heard of him
  • He was a Jewish Carpenter and his mother was a virgin
  • His name was The Christ and some thought him odd
  • Because he preached in the streets and claimed to be the son of God
  • Performing miracles a little to win over the Romans
  • Infuriated by his acts they called him a showman
  • So they tackled him and shackled him and whipped him and beat him and tortured him
  • They did everything just short of believe him
  • They nailed to a cross and left him in the sun to die
  • Now here's where the story varies in everybodies eyes
  • (You can believe)
  • That on the day he met his fate(er)
  • (You can believe)
  • He came back three days later
  • (You can believe)
  • That he shall return again to commence the Armageddon and the judgment of men.
  • He wont descend from the Heavens
  • He'll emerge from the earth
  • With worms in his eyes
  • His blood dry as dirt
  • All bones with little chunks of mummified flesh
  • Even the bugs in his bowels will be repulsed by the stench
  • Hungry as hell not eaten in two millennium
  • And he'll immediately need to start feeding some
  • He will search for the first church as down come the rains
  • Moan in Aramaic with a craving for brains
  • Half eaten believers scream "Jesus of Nazareth"
  • Their dead bodies rise back to life like Lazarus
  • This horror story will be in the new Bible
  • Written by zombies Jesus' newest disciples
  • Satan won't arrive for the end times war.
  • And Christ will hunt a hundred and then be hungry for more
  • No rifle no reason to deliver us from evil
  • The undead prince of peace is feeding on his people.
  • (Chorus)
  • And he shall rise rise
  • The son of God will arrive
  • Back from the dead
  • And when it happens it'll blacken the skies
  • And he shall rise rise
  • And we'll all be surprised
  • As he walks the earth to the cries of "He's Alive"
  • Now wait wait what would Jesus do?
  • Well let me tell you what he'll do
  • He will leave a trail of goo
  • As he preys he preys on you
  • Undead messiah with the entire world turning in to
  • Zombies like him
  • You'll die for him
  • Because he died for you
  • (Oh Jesus Christ! It's Jesus Christ!)
  • For centuries men of cloth have warned that this day will come
  • And they've used it to keep people oppressed under their moral thumb
  • They've controlled and convinced us that our lives are filled with sin
  • Well guess what? That's who he's coming for, those who think they're pure like him
  • He will only go after those who in him have faith
  • So all non-believers around the world will be safe
  • All the Muslims and Buddhists the satanists the atheists
  • The Jews will be safe too, but not the Jews for Jesus
  • And not the hypocrites or pro-life sexists
  • Who hide in the religious right in the heart of Texas
  • most of our government will get it the same
  • And anyone who has committed atrocities in his name
  • He'll crucify Klansmen, That'll be beautiful
  • Then he'll get that *****ing prick who pickets gay funerals
  • Captive pedophiles are eaten after he whips 'em
  • LOOK OUT! Cause he'll send you back to Hell Mel Gibson
  • Those old and grand crusades who enforce
  • Christian prayer in our schools and commandments in courts
  • All of his followers who twist the words that he said
  • Are the ones he'll hunt when he comes back from the dead.
  • (Chorus)
  • And he shall rise rise
  • The son of God will arrive
  • Back from the dead
  • And when it happens it'll blacken the skies
  • And he shall rise rise
  • And we'll all be surprised
  • As he walks the earth to the cries of "He's Alive"
  • Now wait wait what would Jesus do?
  • Well let me tell you what he'll do
  • He will leave a trail of goo
  • As he preys he preys on you
  • Undead messiah with the entire world turning in to
  • Zombies like him
  • You'll die for him
  • Because he died for you
  • (He's coming, he's coming, but he's coming to eat us)
  • Christians will all turn to zombies upon his return visit
  • It isn't too much different than it is now is it?
  • (Chorus)
  • And he shall rise rise
  • The son of God will arrive
  • Back from the dead
  • And when it happens it'll blacken the skies
  • And he shall rise rise
  • And we'll all be surprised

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