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Schaffer the Darklord - The Rappist Lyrics

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  • I can rock the mic in the old school way
  • I got a funky sound
  • And right about now I'd like to break it down
  • Uh, uh, say "what"
  • Don't call it hip-hop because it's really isn't
  • If you listen it's similar but just a little different
  • Rhythmically delivered lyrics over wicked beats
  • Are the end of this and hip-hop's similarities
  • 'Cause I don't bounce and I don't do rap hands
  • See look at me I look like an ass, man
  • No crew, no gin and juice
  • I'm no Dr. Dre I'm more like Dr. Seuss
  • I wouldn't use the word rapper it's rather inaccurate
  • I do talk fast use rhyming words like immaculate
  • Hubba Bubba bubble gum
  • Bubblelicious bubble yum
  • Rubber baby buggy bumpers, this is dumb
  • I don't rap about the ladies all or individuals
  • Or call my *****in' about the world political
  • I don't send shout-outs I don't ever front
  • I just discuss a bunch of goofy stuff and say "what"
  • I'm not the badest or the fastest or the phattest
  • My name is STD my people call me the rappist
  • I'm no rapper this isn't hip-hop
  • Call me the rappist and you don't stop
  • Well I'm not the badest or the fastest or the phattest
  • My name is STD my people call me the rappist
  • Everyone'll wonder what the booker was under when I come out and step to the mic
  • You were asking for a rapper, instead you got the rappist
  • And it happens that there's no one I'm like
  • Outta sight
  • I don't freestyle, I only write my words and I'm singin' it
  • To me wingin' it's for the birds
  • I often get asked too by non-rappin' band nerds
  • STD is the abbreviation for standard
  • GO
  • No DJ, no need for turntables
  • Just give me my box, a 58, and a cable
  • An on stage DI and some monitors, too
  • But keep the reverb off my mix sound man, thank you
  • And I don't play tough and say "Step the ***** back"
  • What the ***** is that? That's not how I act
  • I like to keep my audience up close to the stage
  • I'd you rather you stay than chased away when I play
  • So where's Queens at? What? Where's Queens at? What?
  • Dude let me show you on this street map
  • It's right here over Roosevelt, across the East river
  • That's enough of that crap
  • I got some raps to deliver
  • Ohhh
  • Everybody, look at me
  • Who's he? He's STD
  • He's a geek, he's no MC
  • Just who the hell's he s'posed to be
  • And he's so, I dunno
  • I know he's no rapper and that's when I go
  • Ho-tel, Mo-tel, Holiday Inn
  • Killer outta sight, it's the rappist delight
  • When goosebumps are jumpin' outta your skin, I win
  • I don't dance, never, not a god damn chance
  • I stand in the back clutching a cup in my stance
  • One hand in my pocket, head nodding, hunched over
  • Sippin' cheap, yellow beer, clear out before the show's over
  • When a rapper says "throw your hands up" I don't
  • When a rapper says "make some noise" I won't
  • Bossing your audience is awfully pompous
  • So I'll never do it, that's the STD promise
  • I'll never battle rap or rap like I'm black
  • And I'll try to never lose sight of just where I'm at
  • Goddamnit!
  • And I'll never do that again
  • And by that I mean end a sentence with a preposition
  • I got props for the real hip-hop
  • Those who pop and lock to the beat of a boombox
  • Those who ***** their Glocks and yell "***** the cops!"
  • It's just not how I rock and I don't stop
  • Everybody, look at me
  • Who's he? He's STD
  • He's a geek, he's no MC
  • Just who the hell's he s'posed to be
  • And he's so, I dunno
  • I know he's no rapper and that's when I go
  • Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge
  • And I'm tryin' not to lose my head
  • In the west, I'm the raddest, I'm the best, I'm the rappist
  • In the street I've not a drop of cred
  • I said
  • I almost always write my rhymes on a page of 3 by 5 notebooks I buy at Rite Aid
  • And I like to write 'em with a Pilot Precise 5, rolling ball, black ink, and extra fine
  • I don't need a titular line (try)
  • Stickin' to my themes and write original rhymes
  • Indeed, I smoke weed, I rarely write without it
  • But I don't really feel that means I need to rap about it
  • I guess I often write song by my formula
  • Which is 3 verses followed by 3 choruses
  • But never open going "yo, yo!"
  • When I hear a rapper do that I go "oh, no!"
  • Though I'm not implyin' that you don't know what you're doin'
  • But often times awful rhymes do ruin an otherwise perfectly fine instrumental
  • I think you should avoid ink and write with a pencil
  • And erase the parts that don't sound so hot
  • This'll all be covered in my workshop entitled "This is How to Write a Rhyme"
  • At least it's how to write it in a style that's mine
  • Everybody, look at me
  • Who's he? He's STD
  • He's a geek, he's no MC
  • Just who the hell's he s'posed to be
  • And he's so, I dunno
  • I know he's no rapper and that's when I go
  • Oooh oooh
  • That's the sound of the police but I really doubt they're coming for me
  • Because I've done no crime, I'm just doin' my thing
  • I'm the rappist known as STD
  • Don't call it hip-hop because it really isn't
  • It's just a little different, did you listen as I did it
  • I just spit a mile a minute now I'll hit it 'n quit it
  • I'm only kiddin', you with it? You in it? You get it?
  • Well, I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest
  • My name is STD my people call me the rappist
  • Bass
  • How low can you go? Deathrow
  • What a brotha knows
  • This is the end of the track called "The Rappist"
  • And thanks for comin' out to the show

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