Weird Al Yankovic - Skipper Dan Lyrics
I starred in every high school playBlew every drama teacher awayI graduated first in my class at JuilliardTook every acting workshop I couldAnd I dreamed of HollywoodWhile I read my Uta Hagen and studied the BardHit the boards and paid my duesAnd got phenomenal rave reviewsI knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubtI was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phoneAnnie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling StoneBut the years have come and goneAnd I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked outI'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise rideSkipper Dan is the nameAnd I'm doin' 34 shows every dayAnd every time it's the sameLook at those hippos, they're wigglin' their earsJust like they've done for the last 50 yearsNow I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' insideCause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise rideOh, the critics, they used to sayI was the new OlivierThought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe CannesAw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB meThe only place you might possibly see meIs ridin' my little boat around AdventurelandIt ain't exactly what I plannedBut I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise rideSkipper Dan is the nameAnd I'm doin 34 shows every dayAnd every time it's the sameI would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow"But what's the difference, that's all behind me nowCause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin my prideAnd I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise rideI should be there on BroadwayKnockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men"But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokesAgain and again and again and again and again and again and againBengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet!That's an African bull elephant...And there it is, the backside of water!What have I done with my life?!I shoulda listened when my grandfather said"Why don't you major in business instead?"Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all diedAnd I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise rideSkipper Dan is the nameAnd I'm doin' 34 shows every dayAnd every time it's the sameLook at those hippos, they're wigglin their earsSomebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tearsAlways said I'd be famous... I guess that I liedCause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise rideI'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
