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Your Favorite Martian - Santa Hates Poor Kids Lyrics

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  • I really hate it that my family’s poor! I really wish I was a rich kid.
  • ’Cause they always get all the pimped gifts for Christmas.
  • Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance!
  • While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance.
  • Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski.
  • How the hell did he get a pterodactyl? Gets me!
  • I thought Christmas was awesome, on and poppin.
  • ’Till Jan got a slave and Google stock options.
  • And I don’t think you understand how it feels.
  • To see another kid roll up in his Bentley Power Wheels like:
  • “Look at my new ride; Santa just bought it.
  • He didn’t get you nothing ‘cause your mom’s an alcoholic.”
  • He’s right I got some underwear used by my brother.
  • I’m like Oliver Twist, “Please may I have another?”
  • I opened up a present, and found an eviction notice!
  • Man, ***** you Santa! We’re spending Christmas with the homeless!
  • [Chorus]
  • Santa must hate the poor kids.
  • ‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich, come on.
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming.
  • Nothing under your tree tonight!
  • And all I got was a charm bracelet with no charms.
  • And a discharged G.I. Joe with no arms.
  • And a drunk step dad. Man, I hate it here!
  • And mom got some cigarettes and half a case of beer.
  • We’re too poor for Christmas music. We A capella!
  • And our Christmas tree is just a busted umbrella.
  • With a bunch of junk glued to it. This shit is useless!
  • And Ravi said: Santa also hates you if you’re Jewish.
  • [Chorus]
  • Santa must hate the poor kids.
  • ‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich, sing it.
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming.
  • Nothing under your tree tonight!
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • ***** you Santa! You fat mother*****er!
  • How’d you get so big? You been drinking butter?
  • Always acting jolly, I ain’t buying into that.
  • And why you always trying to get kids to sit on your lap?
  • I heard you touch Scottish boys under the kilt.
  • Hey Fatty Clause! Stop eating my cookies and milk!
  • Or I’m going to go to the North Pole and enroll you in gym class.
  • And next year I’m leaving diet pills and Slim Fast.
  • You see me while I’m sleeping You creep me out.
  • And while you watching me why you got to take your penis out?
  • So bring it Santa! I’m not afraid to fight, *****!
  • I’ll whoop you ass and take a shit on your nice list!
  • I want to take you out in the worst way.
  • If you’re a saint? Why’d you steal Jesus’ birthday?
  • So keep your dumb gifts Santa, we don’t need you!
  • And tell the Tooth Fairy, she’s a cheap ***** too!
  • [Chorus]
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids, come on.
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming.
  • Nothing under your tree tonight!
  • Santa Hates Poor Kids.
  • And God bless us everyone!
  • Shut the hell up Tiny Tim! You’re not helping!

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