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Allan Sherman - Chim Chim Cheree Lyrics

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  • parody of "Chim Chim Cheree" by Dick Van Dyke,
  • from the movie "Mary Poppins")
  • Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim-chim-cheree;
  • Those are three words that don't make sense to me.
  • But I'm used to words that don't make sense to me,
  • From all those commercials I see on TV.
  • When I see an ad that can't be understood
  • I know that the product has got to be good;
  • Those words may be crazy, but I think they're great,
  • Like sodium acetylsalicylate.
  • (Sodium acetylsalicylate!)
  • I wake up each morning a most happy man,
  • I cover my Pic-O-Pay with Fluoristan;
  • I add Hexachlorophene, 'cause it's so pure,
  • And then GL-70, just to make sure.
  • Then I take a shower, but never alone;
  • I'm in there with Dermasil and Silicone.
  • I brush Vitrol-D on my Lanolin wave,
  • And I sharpen my Boo-boop, and use it to shave!
  • (He sharpens his Boo-boop, and that's how he shaves!)
  • There's Tufsyn, and Retsyn, and Acrylan too,
  • And Marfac and Melmac and what else is new?
  • There's Orlon and Korlan, and there's Accutron,
  • And Teflon, and Ban-Lon, and so on and on.
  • These wonderful words spin around in my brain;
  • Each one is a mystery I cannot explain.
  • Like what does that Blue Magic whitener do --
  • Does it make blue things white, or make white things blue?
  • (His blue things are white, and his white things are blue!)
  • My Fastback has Wide-Track and Autronic Eye,
  • Which winks when a cute little Volvo goes by;
  • My tank full of Platformate starts with a roar,
  • But when I try to stop, it goes two miles more.
  • I measure my breathing with my Nasograph,
  • It's nice, but oh my, how it hurts when I laugh.
  • My chair is upholstered in real Naugahyde;
  • When they killed that nauga, I sat down and cried.
  • (He moved to Chicaga when that nauga died!)
  • I'm giving a party next Saturday night
  • And here are the friends that I'm going to invite:
  • The giant who lives in my washing machine,
  • That other nice giant, who's jolly and green.
  • The tiger who causes my gas tank to flood,
  • That handsome white knight who is stronger than crud;
  • The man with the eyepatch, who sells me my shirts
  • And that nut who flies into the front seat for Hertz!
  • (That daring young nut who goes flying for Hertz!)
  • I've lived all my life in this weird wonderland;
  • I keep buying things that I don't understand,
  • 'Cause they promise me miracles, magic, and hope,
  • But, somehow, it always turns out to be soap.
  • And they might as well be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!
  • (Those words all could be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!)
  • sallysally@usa.net

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