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Allan Sherman - That Old Back Scratcher Lyrics

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  • parody of "That Old Black Magic" by Glenn Miller & His Orchestra,
  • from the movie "Star-Spangled Rhythm")
  • That old back scratcher has me in its spell,
  • That old back scratcher like the Chinese sell.
  • Your plastic fingers up and down my spine,
  • The same old itchcraft when your touch meets mine.
  • You tame that tingle when I'm all alone;
  • For I am single, so, to itch his own.
  • So down and down you go,
  • Around and around and around you go;
  • Scratching my unreachable zone.
  • I should throw you away,
  • But I never do;
  • I must give in to itchy skin.
  • A skin with such a burning desire;
  • When I'm scratching low,
  • The itching gets higher.
  • Oh, you're the scrubber that placated me,
  • That chased each place that irritated me;
  • And then, last night, you broke my heart.
  • Because I sat down on you,
  • Two hundred pounds on you,
  • Then, snap, crack,
  • Everything just went black
  • My wonderful old back scratcher fell apart.
  • Yes, you broke in half,
  • And now you're too short;
  • I tried Scotch tape as a last resort.
  • But with Scotch tape it wasn't the same;
  • The thrill that was wild is suddenly tame.
  • But, Old Man Sorrow will not get me down;
  • I leave tomorrow night for Chinatown.
  • For I must follow Heaven's plan:
  • Around and around I'll go,
  • Through Chinatown I'll go,
  • Hoping to find another one just like you,
  • An old Chinese back scratcher made in Japan!
  • sallysally@usa.net

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