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Allan Sherman - The Painless Dentist Song Lyrics

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  • parody of "The Continental (You Kiss While You're Dancing)" by Leo
  • Reisman & His
  • Orchestra, from the movie "The Gay Divorce")
  • Beautiful molars...
  • Lovely bicuspids...
  • I'm Dr. Prentice, the painless dentist;
  • By that what's meant is,
  • It really doesn't hurt.
  • This is Miss Klinger; you've met her finger.
  • So open wide, and Miss Klinger will squirt.
  • Well, well, I say there.
  • We've got decay there.
  • Can't let it stay there and cause you all that pain.
  • So please Miss Klinger, remove your finger,
  • And won't you hand me down my Novocaine.
  • It's far worse than I thought it was;
  • My charge is gonna be large.
  • Don't be unwilling,
  • It's just a filling,
  • I'm simply drilling to dig a little pit.
  • Don't fight Miss Klinger, or bite her finger
  • And now while I change the drill you can spit.
  • I hum while you're bleeding;
  • It takes your mind off
  • The things I grind off.
  • Your gums are receding;
  • You'll have to come back,
  • We'll build that gum back.
  • And now if you will open wide,
  • Miss Klinger's gonna put her whole darn fist inside.
  • That's it... now it's over.
  • They'll be a puffiness around your cheeks,
  • You'll have to eat soft food for three more weeks,
  • And if you'll kindly stop those ghastly shrieks,
  • I'm through.
  • Beautiful molars...
  • Lovely bicuspids...
  • By Dr. Prentice!
  • sallysally@usa.net

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