Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Naming Of Cats Lyrics
The naming of cats is a difficult matterIt isn't just one of your holiday gamesYou may think at first I'm mad as a hatterWhen I tell you a cat must have three different namesFirst of all, there's the name that the family use dailySuch as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or JamesSuch as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill BaileyAll of them are sensible, everyday namesBut I tell you a cat needs a name that's particularA name that's peculiar and more dignifiedElse how can he keep up his tail perpendicular?Or spread out his whiskers or cherish his pride?Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorumSuch as Munkustrap, Quaxo or CoricopatSuch as Bombalurina, or else JellylorumNames that never belong to more than one catBut above and beyond there's still one name left overAnd that is the name that you will never guessThe name that no human research can discoverBut the cat himself knows and will never confessWhen you notice a cat in profound meditationThe reason, I tell you, is always the sameHis mind is engaged in rapt contemplationOf the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his nameHis ineffable, effable, effanineffableDeep and inscrutable singular nameName, name, name, name, name, name