Bo Burnham - Left Brain, Right Brain Lyrics
Hello patient 24682Hey what's up?How are you feeling?I'm alrightHas the treatment been working?No, not reallyWhat are your remaining symptoms?I hate myself, I'm not good with other people, I don't know if I'm real or notBlah, blah, blah, you're such a *****ing *****Real mature, real *****ing mature, conscienceI'm just messing around Bo, your problem is simple, your emotion and logic are at warYour creativity and analysis are at war and most simply, your left and right brain are at warTo fix the problem we must separate them from each otherSplitting your neurological functions in5... 4... 3.. 2.. 1This may hurt a bit, 0Isolation completeThis is Bos left brain, objective, logical, cold, analyticalAware of patterns aware of trends he's efficient, and a prickThis is Bos right brain subjective, creative, sensoryAware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiotOkay boys play niceI am the left brain, I am the left brainI work really hard until my inevitable death brainYou got a job you better do it right in the right way with the left brains mightI get happy when I smell cookies (haha cookies!)And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3Cause I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful and trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love.. Or put my penis inHere comes a female, here comes a femalePuff your chest up take your phone out and check your emailOr evolutionary purpose is to repopulateSo gather data now and see if she's a possible mateHoly ***** I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it*****sI am the earth, she is the glorious sunI want her to trust me and I want her to sit on my *****ing face!Alright now right brain you're being insaneNo left brain, I'm just being aliveYou should try it, you might like itI worked hard to give him everything he cared aboutYou were worried about the things he was scared aboutI'm calm and collective when you act wildI am the adult you are childYou think you're the right one every timeYou think you know everything but you don't know anything at allHalf of his problems were supposed to be mineBut you wanted everything I hope that you're happy because he's sure notWell according to my calculations, I'm sorry just let me run this again, you're a giant *****Really name calling? Really name calling?I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts alright, the fact is you're a gigantic *****I'm the *****? Really? Well at least I don't play with toys stillRubix cubes are not toys alright, they keep my spacial rethink skills.. sharpLeft brain plays with toys! Haha, *****ing, toy playerWell at least I did my *****ing job, I kept him working, I kept him productiveYou were supposed to look after himYou were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all thisNow you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed himYou did this to him, he hates you I know he does, he *****ing hates you!Right brain I'm sorry, okay?No you're notLook, maybe there's something we can do togetherTogether?Take the best parts of both of us and put them togetherIt would let you let your feelings out, It would let me analyzeIt's something that George Carlin did, It's something Steve Martin didIt's something special we can both perform, do you know what it is?Oral sex on ourselves, we could suck each others dicks because no one is gonna suck our dicks for us!It was comedy, you, ***** it, we could do comedy
