C.w. Mccall - Crispy Critters Lyrics
(c.w. mccall, bill fries, chip davis)Bill fries says that this is based on a true story from the late 60s, when a band of hippies rolled into telluride and decided to stay.One day about four or five years agoWe is settin at the conoco stationKickin tires, and swattin flies,And discussin the state of the unionWhen right out in front of the baptist churchCome a big ol purple school busHad astrological signs upon itAnd thirty-five hippies and dogs insideAbout half of em went for the courthouse lawnAnd them dogs commenced on the fireplugRest of em set there starin at usAnd I says, roy, go get your flit gunHe says, which is the hippies? and which is the dogs?I says, beats the hell outta me, roy.What they was, was a bunch a them crispy crittersAnd their leader was a space cadetHe says, sagittarius, we has arrived.Prepare to disembark, men.Get the incense goin and the sitar outWe gonna camp in the city park, man.I says, boys, let me explain the situation to ya.A: youre gettin me downAnd b: we got us a leash law hereAnd c: you in the wrong town.You drop one string a beads in that there parkAnd you gonna see a whole lotta stars.You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, boys,Or we gonna blow ya ta mars.Well, they all got back in the purple busAnd proceeded to the city limits.Then the telephone rang, was the swimmin poolSays a mess a wild critters was in it!So we all got in the marshals plymouth(which is always at the conoco station)Went flashin on down to the swimmin poolTo give them critters a citationBy the time we arrived, it was too damn lateThem critters is all had their pants downThem dogs was tearin the bathhouse apart,And theys after the fish in the fish pond!I says, roy, you get the one in the silver t-shirtAnd Ill get the rest with a net.We gonna have a jail full a ***** crispy crittersAnd a drip-dry space cadet.[youve watched the dukes of hazzard, havent you? cmon, admit it; nobodys looking. well, at this point in the song theres a short interlude which resembles a car chase on dukes. theres banjKin and yee-hawin and a general sense of raucous abandon. oh, yeah, and a few dog barks. its round-up time at the swimmin pool.]Well, we gave em hell, but we lost the warcause them critters outnumbered usSo they moved in and set up campAnd they lived in that purple school busSix weeks later, there was nothin in townBut eighty-four dogs and a head shopSellin dried up weeds, and sunflower seeds,And astrological postcardsYeah, critters took over the city councilAnd the dogs all barked their brains outAnd the whole damn town was crispy crittersAnd the mayor was a space cadet
