Denis Leary - ***** Lyrics
DENIS LEARY - *****(Spoken)Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way downin the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the*****les of our hearts, maybe below the *****les, maybe in the sub*****learea. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in thecolon, we don't know.(Sung)I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.I'm your average white suburbanite slob.I like football and porno and books about war.I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.My wife and my job, my kids and my car.My feet on my table and a cuban cigar.But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested(oh no) no way (uh-uh)No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeahI drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,While people behind me are going insane.I'm an ***** (He's an *****, what an *****)I'm an ***** (He's an *****, such an *****)I use public toilets and piss on the seat,I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"I'm an ***** (He's an *****, what an *****)I'm an ***** (He's the world's biggest *****)Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,While handicapped people make handicapped faces.I'm an ***** (He's an *****, what an *****)I'm an ***** (He's a real *****ing *****)Maybe I shouldn't be singing this songRanting and raving and carrying onMaybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrongNAAAAH!I'm an ***** (he's an *****, what an *****)I'm an ***** (he's the world's biggest *****)(Spoken)Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,hot-*****in'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and bigbrown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around inthat baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' downquarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' downthose greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out theside, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why?Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear *****in'weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracythey want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle ofTienamen Square and it won't make a lick of *****in' difference, because we gotthe bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure forcancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. Youknow why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 milliontimes--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke andJohn Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of *****in' whisky and drive...(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an *****?)Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the*****... all the time it was him... what an *****!(Sung)I'm an ***** (I'm an *****, he's an *****)I'm an ***** (He's the world's biggest *****)A S-S H-O L-EEverybody, A S-S H-O L-EAy Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-AyA-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoomOooooooo(Spoken)I'm an ***** and I'm proud of it!(Chris mouths: *****
