Eminem - Criminal Lyrics
[eminem]A lot of people ask me.. stupid *****in questionsA lot of people think that.. what I say on recordsOr what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real lifeOr that I believe in itOr if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..Im actually gonna do itOr that I believe in itWell, shit.. if you believe thatThen Ill kill youYou know why?Cuz Im aCriminalCriminalYou God damn rightIm a criminalYeah, Im a criminal[eminem]My words are like a dagger with a jagged edgeThatll stab you in the headWhether youre a fag or lezOr the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vestPants or dress - hate fags? the answers yesHomophobic? nah, youre just heterophobicStarin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (ooh!)Thats my mother*****in balls, youd better let go of emThey belong in my scrotum, youll never get hold of emHey, its me, versaceWhoops, somebody shot me!And I was just checkin the mailGet it? checkin the male?How many records you expectin to sellAfter your second lp sends you directly to jail?Cmon!-- relax guy, I like gay menRight, ken? give me an amen (aaa-men!)Please lord, this boy needs jesusHeal this child, help us destroy these demonsOh, and please send me a brand new carAnd a prostitute while my wifes sick in the hospitalPreacher preacher, fifth grade teacherYou cant reach me, my mom cant neitherYou cant teach me a goddamn thing causeI watch tv, and comcast cableAnd you aint able to stop these thoughtsYou cant stop me from toppin these chartsAnd you cant stop me from droppin each marchWith a brand new cd for these *****in retardsDuhhh, and to think, its just little ol meMr. dont give a *****, still wont leaveChorus: eminem (repeat 2x)Im a criminalCuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think its a crimeTo tell em whats on my mind - I guess Im a criminalBut I dont gotta say a word, I just flip em the birdAnd keep goin, I dont take shit from no one[eminem]My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speedThe baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeedIt was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as sheDont dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was meIm a criminal - an animal caged who turned crazedBut how the ***** you sposed to grow up when you werent raised?So as I got older and I got a lot tallerMy dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got largerI drink malt liquor to ***** you up quickerThan youd wanna ***** me up for sayin the word ...My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oralSex in his oval office on top of his deskOff of his own employeeNow dont ignore me, you wont avoid meYou cant miss me, Im white, blonde-hairedAnd my nose is pointyIm the bad guy who makes fun of people that dieIn plane crashes and laughsAs long as it aint happened to himSlim shady, Im as crazy as em-inem and kim combined - *kch* the maniacs inReplacin the doctor cause dre couldnt make it todayHes a little under the weather, so Im takin his place(mm-mm-mmm!) oh, thats dre with an ak to his faceDont make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the placeI told you dre, you shouldve kept that thang put awayI guess thatll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?Im a criminal[interlude skit]Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that mother*****erGet the mother*****in money and get the ***** up outta there[em] aightIll be right here waitin on you[em] aightYo em[em] what? !Dont kill nobody this time[em] awwright... God damn, *****...(whistling) how you doin?[teller] hi, how can I help you?[eminem] yeah I need to make a withdrawl[teller] okay[eminem] put the *****in money in the bag *****And I wont kill you![teller] what? oh my god, dont kill me[eminem] Im not gonna kill you *****, quit lookin around...[teller] dont kill me, please dont kill me...[eminem] I said Im not gonna *****in kill youHurry the ***** up! {*boom*} thank you![eminem]Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in itSo when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in itSo Ill be disguised in itAnd if anybody identifies the guy in itIll hide for five minutesCome back, shoot the eyewitnessFire at the private eye hired to pry in my businessDie, *****es, bastards, brats, petsThis puppys lucky I didnt blast his ass yetIf I ever gave a *****, Id shave my nutsTuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluckYou mother*****in chickens aint brave enoughTo say the stuff I say, so this tape is shutShit, half the shit I say, I just make it upTo make you mad so kiss my white ***** assAnd if its not a rapper that I make it asIma be a *****in rapist in a jason mask(chorus 2x)
