Eminem - The Kids Lyrics
[mr. mackey] (eric cartman)And everyone should get along..Okay children quiet down, quiet downChildren Id like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the dayHis name is mr. shadyChildren quiet down pleaseBrian dont throw that (shut up!)Mr. shady will be your new substituteWhile mr. kaniff is out with pneumonia (hes got aids!)Good luck mr. shady[eminem]Hi there little boys and girls (***** you!)Today were gonna to learn how to poison squirrelsBut first, Id like you to meet my friend bob (huh? )Say hi bob! (hi bob) bobs 30 and still lives with his momAnd he dont got a job, cause bob sits at home and smokes potBut his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lotAnd bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spotAnd wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clockWhen its late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dogDrag em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (ahh!)And even if they escaped and they got the copsThe ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the chargetil one night mrs. stacey went off the jobWhen she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talkBut stacey knew it was bob and said knock it offBut bob wouldnt knock it off cause hes crazy and off his rockerCrazier than slim shady is off the vodkaYou couldnt even take him to dres to get bob a dr.He grabbed stace by the legs as chopped it off herAnd dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find herBut ever since the day stacey went off to wanderThey never found her, and bob still hangs at the waffle dinerAnd thats the story of bob and his marijuana,And what it might do to youSo see if the squirrels want any - its bad for youChorus: mr. mackey (eminem)See children, drugs are bahhhd (cmon)And if you dont believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)And if you dont believe him, ask ya mom (thats right)Shell tell you how she does em all the time (she will)So kids say no to drugs (thats right)So you dont act like everyone else does (uh-huh)Then theres really nothin else to say (sing along)Drugs are just bad, mmmkay?[eminem]My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?***** no you aint seen it, its the size of a peanut (huh? )Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?Ecstasy is the worst drug in the worldIf someone ever offers it to you, dont do itKids two hitsll probably drain all your spinal fluidAnd spinal fluid is final, you wont get it backSo dont get attached, itll attack every bone in your backMeet zach, twenty-one years oldAfter hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets boldAnd decides to try five, when hes bribed by five guysAnd peer pressure will win every time you try to fight itSuddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdriveAnd his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}His back starts tah - look like the mcdonalds archesHes on donalds carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*bleh*}And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at himHey adam, zach is a jackass, look at him!Cause they took it too, so they think its funnySo theyre laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his moneyMeanwhile, zachs in a coma, the action is overAnd his back and his shoulders hunched up like hes practicin yogaAnd thats the story of zach, the ecstasy maniacSo dont even feed that to squirrels class, cause its bad for youChorus: mr. mackey (eminem)See children, drugs are bahhhd (thats right)And if you dont believe me, ask ya dahhhd (thats right)And if you dont believe him, ask ya mom (you can)Shell tell you how she does em all the time (she will)So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)So you dont act like everyone else does (thats right)And theres really nothin else to say (but umm)Drugs are just bad, mmmkay?[eminem]And last but not least, one of the most humungousProblems among young people today, is fungusIt grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,Bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew itYum yum! then you start to see some dumb stuffAnd everything slows down when you eat some of em..And sometimes you see things that arent there (like what? )Like fat woman in g-strings with orange hair(mr. shady whats a g-string? ) its yarn claireWomen stick em up their behinds, go out and wear em (huh? )And if you swallow too much of the magic mushroomsWhoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungusYa tongue gets, all swoll up like a cows tongue (how come? )Cause it comes from a cows dung (gross!!)See drugs are bad, its a common factBut your mom and dad, know thats all that Im good at (oh!)But dont be me, cause if you grow up and you go and o.d.Theyre gonna come for me and ima have to grow a goateeAnd get a disguise and hide, cause itll be my faultSo dont do drugs, and do exactly as I dont,Cause Im bad for youChorus: mr. mackey (eminem)See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)And if you dont believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)And if you dont believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)Shell tell you how she does em all the time (and she will)So kids say no to drugs (say no)So you dont act like everyone else does (like I do)And theres really nothin else to say (thats right)Drugs are just bad, mmmkay?[mr. mackey] (eric cartman)Come on children, clap along (shut up!)Sing along children (suck my mother*****in dick!)Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (south park is gonna sue me!)So dont do drugs (suck my mother*****in penis!)So therell be more for me (hippie! god damnit!)(mushrooms killed kenny! *fart* ewww, ahhh!)(so, *****ed up, right now..)
