Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie Lyrics
Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)Steve vai (guitar)Ray white (guitar, vocals)Tommy mars (keyboards)Chuck wild (piano)Arthur barrow (bass)Scott thunes (bass)Jay anderson (string bass)Ed mann (percussion)Chad wackerman (drums)Ike willis (vocals)Terry bozzio (vocals)Dale bozzio (vocals)Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)Bob harris (vocals)Johnny guitar watson (vocals)Harry: (to thing-fish)Anything you say, master! take me, Im yours!Rhonda: (broadway-style fake singing)Jingle bells, jingle bells,Jingle all the way!Oh, what fun it is to rideTo chicago every day, oh...Thing-fish:Oooh, lawd! lookit you, boy! chain thoo de nipples n evvy goddam thing! you a sick white mutha*****er, aintcha?Rhonda:Bells on bob-tail ring,Making spirits bright!Oh, what fun it is to rideTo chicago every night, oh...Harry:For chrissake, rhonda! have you no shame?Thing-fish:Yall make up ymind yet, bouts de mammy o yo dreams?Harry:You bet! Ive waited all my life for this moment! my heart is fluttering! if only I could submit myself on approval, for a limited time only...to ...to that nasty little rubber mammy on your kneThing-fish:Sister obdewlla x? de mystry sister? yall wants tparty hearty with de minyature rubber mammy wit de string out de back? yow! dintcha get nuff buse fum de other ***** when ywas livin iCard-bod hut?Rhonda:Harry...harry...hey! harry! *****ing wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! I want a divorce, harry!Harry:Not now, dearest, please! this is serious! little mammy, whatll it be? hips or lips?Harry snatches sister obdewlla x away from thing-fish, bashing himself with it in an irrational manner.Rhonda un-zips the santa claus costume, revealing the rubber body suit, hoping for some sign of interest from her deranged husband. there isnt any...hes beating the ***** out of himself and lovVery minute of it.She squeezes her rubber tits, as if to squirt them at him. still no interest.Rhonda:Youre a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! a *****ing wor-r-r-r-m-m-m-m-mmmmmmmmmmm! these are my tits, harry! I have tits! look! look at me! look at my wonderful tits, you *****ing wor-r-r-r-r-mmmmmmmm! Im goiPretend Im squirting them on you! whoo! wheeeee! almost gotcha!Harry:Not now, rhonda! ow! oof! oh, I love this! hurt me! hurt me! oh, pull my chain, you tiny potato-headed whatchamacallit!Rhonda:Theyre almost squirting, harry! look! look! whoooooo! whooooo! whoooo! you *****ing worm!Thing-fish:Obdewlla! is yawright? dont be pullin de boys chain too hard dere! he gots nuthuh show tdo tmorrow! dont put dat in yo mouf, girl! I knows ycain hep yseff wit dat crazy mutha*****er you like dat, but jes hang on a lil longuh...he be droppin de wad putty soon now!Rhonda: (pinching her nipples, jiggling her tits)Jingle bells, jingle bells...Harry:Oh! this is divine!Rhonda:This is my *****, harry! look! see it? you know what Im gonna do with it, you worm? Im gonna make it ***** something! thats right! you wont get any of it...because youre disgusting! an I doEed you, mr. first-nighter! my wonderful, wonderful ***** doesnt need you! I have my briefcase, harry! Im going to ***** my briefcase! Im going to...look! look at this! I got it right over herEre! see it? my big, brown, briefcase! my briefcase! its big, harry! its full of business papers...from my career!A tan and brown briefcase, seven feet tall, is lowered in. francesco watches it land near his window. he exits the bungalow with a can of crisco and a violin case. n pantomime, he cautiously intTs rhondas monologue, suggesting that she examine the contents of the case. it contains a strap-on dildo of such ridiculous proportions that a chain leading from just behind the head of it mustOoked to a leather dog collar around rhondas neck, in order to hold it up. francesco recommends the crisco as a lubricant, daubs on a bit with a miniature dolls foot, finally indicating that sNceal her pubic hair with a cardboard box, in the manner preferred by famous singing christians.Rhonda reaches inside the briefcase and locates her special atomic glasses (with tiny doll arms reaching out through tiny cardboard boxes), and puts them on.She reaches in again and finds an artificial hamburger with a red ribbon on it. she mounts it on top of her head, tying the ribbon in a neat bow below her chin. ready at last, she humps the brieVigorously.Rhonda: (contd.)Im gonna put my glasses on, harry! Im gonna put my hair up in a bun! then, Im going ***** ***** *****! ha-ha-ha-hahhhhh! look! see me? see how I got my hair up? whooo! Im really doing it! unnghGh!Harry:Rhonda...have you no shame! keep the briefcase closed, for chrissake! all your documents are falling out!Rhonda: (as over-sized file folders emerge)Unngh! Im good! oh God Im good! harder! faster! unngh! unngh! this is terrific! boy, I need it so bad...Harry:Those are the warner brothers files, arent they dear? dont you think therell be some questions about the condition of the blue paper?Thing-fish:Girl! bes be careful wit de latch!Rhonda: (with the handle in her mouth, semi-intelligible)Im sucking the handle now, harry! look! mmmmmm! it tastes good! mmmmmm! mmmmmm! the handle! the handle!Harry:Hurt me, obdewlla! make me whimper and beg for your tiny rubber love!After nibbling on it as if it were a giant piece of corn-on-the-cob, thing-fish hands rhonda an oversized pink fountain pen with her name on the clip.Rhonda:Ive got a fountain pen, harry! Ive got a fountain pen with my initials on it! Im putting it in my mouth, harry! Im gonna get it wet! Im gonna stuff it up my ***** and ride the briefcase aYou disgusting perverted bastard worm! Im gonna do it! look, harry! whooo! unngh! unngh! god-damit, harry! watch me! this is for your own good!
