Joe Budden - Poker In The Sky Lyrics
[Verse:]Just trying to explain the unexplainableMore than trying to attain the unattainableTrying to make it sustainableCollecting all the parts, see if they interchangeableKilling me slow, but I'm glad it's entertaining youEveryday it amaze meThe same thinking that pay me the same thinking that plagues meHow can I think I'm crazy? Sway meCause to profit off of s**t that aches me is actually pretty wavyI'm painting the perfect pictureOnly perfect cause the imperfections are highlightedTo gross currency off of that kinda sicknessChanges the meaning of mind my businessGiving what was given to meSo the soldiers come over unsoberAnd call me Yoda instead of JosephI be like "why they come to me for advice?"They should really come to me for a viceI got 'em allGot a counter full of liquor, pocket full of pillsThe illusion of control, I can tell you how it feelsAccounts full of paper and the women I play withAll got criminal bodies, innocent facesCome around and we have a ball, could have it allWell, I ran out of Adderall, but that's a matter of a call, check itOdds is they start telling me they hardshipsRegardless, they end up wanting hard d**k, aww s**tYou would think they been ordainedGot her legs in the air, she screaming the Lord's nameI'm feeding her more game, more game, more gameI started f*****g her mind, that's when all them thoughts cameShe keep saying if I want her I should fight for herMy plight for her says I don't know if I'm right for herEven so know there's a fire I ignite for herStaring at her ceiling, seeing me like I'm a nightcrawlerIt's like she love me, but she don'tThat's when she lose me, that's when she confuse meIt's what I get appalled with, can't call itShe think I should remove her hurt since I installed itBut I wish she knew I was returned 2 birdsFeel it hurt me more knowing I hurt youEven though it exists I don't ever bring it upWe don't be doing nothing, but it's everything to usPresently she bring up the past and it's filthyYou not talking to who I was or who I will beBut that's my own assignmentYou want to take all the feelings and the time spentAnd give it realignmentCheck the catalog, lateral GodI self-sabotage, I'd explain further, but I'd rather notSalute, on me, everybody have a shotI do it for the n****s they said wouldn't have a shotBut some days are better than some daysStill yet here I stand on numb legsWomen don't give a f**k that I have these scarsI'm f*****g the same hoes that the athletes areWhat a rollercoaster, we argued and we sexedFace in her box, James Harden in her textsN***a from the Clippers every morning text her "good morning"She be sleep, he just be talking to me, my n***aNone of this is a pain to seeI only care about her if she pertains to meS**t I'm tending to emergencies with urgencyThat urge in me is my daily fight in her purging meF**k hoes, I ain't got time to be sprung nowGrandpa's cancer just made it to his lungs nowIn 2012, docs gave him few months; wildHe's alive somehow, outlived 2 sons, wowSo no the observationSays he'll die quicker with chemo and radiationHe ain't strong enough to even go through operationKnow that death's coming, he just in the house waitingSo you telling me there ain't a way to fix the s**t?Or is grandpa too old for you to give a s**t?Let's switch the s**t, give you my predicamentWonder how you would feel if I was telling yours live with itAnd it's traveling to his heart soonOf course it all hit me like a harpoonI was in shock and then it was all clearerWhen he called me and asked me to be his pallbearerI was flooredBut then the next second was backTo being self-centered, self-absorbedAnd it became about me, fought it off long enoughI could help carry your weight, but I ain't strong enoughBut why do I have to be?This the s**t I be naturally asking me, I'm such a catastropheSee me breaking down with my father in back of meSo for me to attend, I'm trying to think of a strategyBut I'm happy for my dadHe was incarcerated, but his mama didn't make itSo for him to get that chance again with youMeans the world, he could be there til it end for you and meI bleed out through this pen for youCan't carry this around, gotta vent, it's dueCause now, grandpa'll be closer to his wifeHave cards when I come, we playing poker in the sky