Laika - Badtimes Lyrics
If you receive an e-mail with a subject of badtimes delete it immediatly without reading itThis is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.It will re-write your hard diskNot only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computerIt will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your ice cream meltsIt will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your vcrAnd use subspace field harmonics to render any cds you try to play unreadable.It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.It will mix antifreeze into your fishtankIt will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when theres company coming overIt will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys when you are late for workBadtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your backAnd billing the dinner and hotel room to your visa cardIt will seduce your grandmotherIt does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you cant find it.It will kick your dog. it will leave libidinous messages on your bosss voice mail in your voice!.It is insidious and subtleIt is dangerous and terrifying to behold. it is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.Badtimes will give you dutch elm disease. it will leave the toilet seat up.It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtubAnd then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your new snowblower.These are just a few of the signs. be very very careful !!
