Musicals - Cats: Gus The Theater Cat Lyrics
[Verse 1]Gus is the cat at the theater doorHis name, as I ought to have told you beforeIs really Asparagus, and that's such a fuss to pronounceThat we usually call him just Gus[Verse 2]His coat's very shabby. He's thin as a rakeAnd he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shakeYet he was in his youth quite the smartest of catsBut no longer a terror to mice or to rats[Verse 3]For he isn't the cat that he was in his primeThough his name was quite famous, he says, in his timeAnd whenever he joins his friends at their club(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)[Verse 4]He loves to regale them, if someone else paysWith anecdotes drawn from his palmiest daysFor he once was a star of the highest degreeHe has acted with Irving, he's acted with tree[Verse 5]And he likes to relate his successes on the hallsWhere the gallery once gave him seven cat calls[Chorus]But his greatest creation as he love to tellWas Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell[Verse 6]I have played in my time every possible partAnd I used to know seventy speeches by heartI'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gagAnd I knew how to let the cat out of the bag[Verse 7]I knew to act with my back and my tailWith and hour of rehersal, I never could failI'd a voice that would soften the hardest of heartsWhether I took the lead, or in character parts[Verse 8]I have sat by the bedside of poor little NellWhen the curfew was run then I swung on the bellIn the Pantomime Season I never fell flatAnd I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat[Chorus]But my grandest creation, as history will tellWas Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell[Verse 9]Then, if someone will give him a toothful of ginHe will tell how he once played a part in East LynneAt a Shakespeare performance he once walked on patWhen some actor suggested the need for a cat[Verse 10]And I say now these kittens, they do not get trainedAs we did in the days when Victoria reignedThey never did get drilled in a regular troupAnd they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop[Verse 11]And he says as he scratches himself with his clawsWell the theater is certainly not what it wasThese modern productions are all very wellBut there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell[Chorus]That moment of mystery when I made historyAs Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell[Outro]I once crossed the stage on a telegraph wireTo rescue a child when a house was on fireAnd I think that I still can much better than mostProduce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghostAnd I once played GrowltigerCould do it again, could do it againCould do it again
