Rugburns - My Carphone's On The Pill Lyrics
My carphones on the pill, and my girfriends got call waitingSatans in the bagels and my toasters masturbatingMy computer has hard drive, and my disk is always floppyMy xerox has the runs and it wont stop shitting copiesHelp meMy paper wants some coffee and my mother needs recyclingMy fax is getting acne and it needs some tetracycleneMy dog is late for school and my son pissed on the floorThe percolators drooling and the babys at the storeWould you help me please?The tvs watching me and my control is in remoteGrandpas sucking carpet and the vacuum stole my coatAnd the birds are smoking cocaine and my son lives in a nestMy daughter just got neutered, and my cat just got fake breastsNow help me pleaseYeah tv rules the house now, mr. cartwright is the bossGingers kissing maryann and Im in love with hossThurston howell iii is lusting after mary tylerMore is always less that mr. douglas is a stylerGreen acres is the place to be, that eb is such a dorkHe hit arnold the pig and so tonight were eating porkHelp meMy coffee lost its dentures and my father needs reheatingMy wife is always empty and the fridge is always eatingThe dust pans playng marbles and the kids are in the sinkAnd the heater wont quit farting and my mental health it stinksNow help me pleaseMy car went to the movies, and Im locked in my garageMy bathroom went to art school, now I piss in a collageAnd the blender stole my credit cards, and bought some fancy dudsEveryone has patriots, but all I have are scudsHelp me pleaseMy carphones on the pill, and my girfriends got call waitingSatans in the bagels and my toasters masturbatingHelp me please
