Stephen Lynch - Grandfather Lyrics
When Grandfather diesLife will be strangeWhen Grandfather diesMy whole world will changeWhen Grandfather diesI'll scream and I'll yell'Cause I'll be *****in' rich as hellSo Grandfather, dieDon't keep me in suspenseOh Grandfather, coughUp that inheritanceOh Grandfather, don'tHold on another dayI love you to deathBut I've gots bills to payA stroke would be niceDisease would be coolI'll scatter his ashesIn my new swimming poolI'll party with HefI'll dine with the QueenSo what say we unplug that machine?Oh Grandfather, dieBefore the fiscal yearOh Grandfather, IWish Kevorkian were hereOh Grandfather, dieJust take your final bowOh Grandfather, dieFamily hates you anyhowFor God's sakes, you must be as old as the sunYour Social Security Number is 1You're deaf, dumb, and blind, and an amputeeYou donate your blood every time that you peeYour arthritis acts up whenever it rainsYou're so old your penis has varicose veinsOh, why don't you die, Grandpa?Why must you fight?You old mother*****erJust walk toward the goddamn lightWalk toward the light, old manWalk toward the light, old manIt's all over nowMy granddad is deadA mysterious blowTo his wrinkled old headBefore I collectA small oversightBut everything should work out all rightI'll start working on my grandma tonight
