Tim Minchin - Hello Lyrics
HelloWelcome to my showI'm glad that you could comeWe're gonna have a hootWe're gonna have some funSit backPut your feet up and relaxI hope you've had a drink or threeThe more you've drunkThe better I will beAnd if you have a mobile phonePlease turn it off Thank youAnd if you have Tourette's syndromeJust do whatever it is you people doAnd if you are offended by strong language or blasphemyMaybe you should chuff off homeCos it's only gonna get worseOnly gonna get worseOnly gonna get worseFrom now on CuntMy name is TimI write funny songs and singAnd if you don't think funny songs are funnyWell I respect your rightTo think exactly what you likeBut you're sure as shit not getting back your moneyAnd if you write for a newspaper I'd just like to sayThat I read your publication every single dayAnd I agree with absolutely everything you sayI think you're the most perspicacious and delightful, eloquent, insightful writerWriting on the subject of the artsBut if you write a bad reviewI promise you I'll come round to your houseAnd lay turds in all your potted indoor plantsI'll lay turds! In all your plants! Your indoor plants! Your potted indoor plants! HelloWelcome to my showI'm glad you all could comeIt's time for a little audience participationSing, "Yeah!"(Yeah! )Sing, "Yeah!"(Yeah! )Sing, "Ooo yeah!"(Ooo yeah! )Sing, "I am an audience member!"(I am an audience member! )"Why are you making me sing?"(Why are you making me sing?)"You self indulgent wanker!"(You self indulgent wanker! )"Just get on with the *****ing show!"(Just get on with the *****ing show! )
