Tim Minchin - If You Really Loved Me Lyrics
If you really loved me the way you say you doIf you love me half as much as I love youYou would pluck a planet from the skyYou'd use a star to dot the "I"In "I love you", that is what you'd doYou'd take a dreary day and you would paint it blueIf you loved me unconditionallyThese are the things that you would do for meBecause I need youLike a fish needs the seaLike a fire needs oxygenLike a flower needs a beeAnd if you really cared for meYou'd let me video you while you weeStanding up in the bath - I shouldn't even have to askPerhaps you'd even store a little more in a flaskThese are just the things that people doWhen their love for one another is trueWe go togetherLike a cracker and BrieLike racism and ignoranceLike bling and R&BAnd if you really want to show you careYou'd let me wear your underwearWhen we go to your mum's, for a bit of harmless funI just like talking about your childhood with lace between my bunsThere's no reason for a big to-doIf you love one another, it's trueWe go togetherLike a bird and a nestLike Internet and kiddie-pornLike guns and the USAnd if you love me like you say you doYou'd purchase thirty *****atoosAnd teach them to fly in formation in the skyAnd shit the words "Tim is God" on my ex-girlfriend's HyundaiSure, it might be easier with dovesBut shirking challenges is not what love's all aboutLove is not all wine and rosesSometimes it's handcuffs and cheeseNo one said love is for freeAnd if you agree with thatYou'd sing me passages from the KoranWearing nothing but your Bob the Builder hatTo the tune of Waltzing MatildaI just love the combination of Islam, nationalism and builderBecause I need youLike a tick needs a tockLike bananas need pyjamasLike a nun needs *****But if you want to put your love for me firstYou wouldn't go through childbirthYou'd agree to adopt, so that you could stay thinWe'll get a Chinese kid - it could teach us Mandarin! And communists don't make as much noiseAnd they're really good at sharing their toysBecause I dig youLike an Aussie digs piesLike born-agains dig JesusLike Jesus dug guysAnd if you love me unconditionallyYou'd do my tax return for meCos it's way overdue, and I just don't know, I guess I'm self-employed but do I still pay as I go?And does the threshold apply to me?And should I register for GST?And if you love me unconditionally, Would you let me video you while you wee?(Assuming there's nothing worth watching on TV)
