Xtc - No Thugs In Our House Lyrics
Cast of charactersGraham, a teenagerMother, a busy housewifeFather, a conservative husbandPoliceman, a young constableScene: a kitchen in suburbia, one bright saturday morningAct oneNarrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on theLine. her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studyingTheir cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. theirWall-paper world is shattered by his shout. a boy in blue is busyBanging out a headache on the kitchen door. all the while grahamSlept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wantedTo.Mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?We made that clear, we made little graham promise us he'd be a goodBoy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, weMade little graham promise us he'd be a good boy.Act twoNarrator: the young policeman who just can't grow a moustache willOpen up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of asians whoHave been so badly kicked.Policeman: is this your son's wallet i've got here? he must haveDropped it after too much beer!Mother: oh, officer, we can't believe our little angel is the oneYou've picked.Narrator: and all the while graham slept on, dreaming of a worldWhere he could do just what he wanted to.Mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?We made that clear, we made little graham promise us he'd be a goodBoy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, weMade little graham promise us he'd be a good boy.Narrator: they never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer.Policeman: they never read that tattoo on his arm.Narrator: they thought that was just a boys club badge he wore.Policeman: they never thought he'd do folks any harm.Act threeNarrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on theLine. she's singing something stale and simple now this business hasFizzled out. her little tune is such a happy song. her son isInnocent, he can't do wrong, 'cos dad's a judge and knows exactly whatThe job of judging's all about. and all the while graham slept on,Dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to.Mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?We made that clear, we made little graham promise us he'd be a goodBoy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, weMade little graham promise us he'd be a good boy.Mother: no thugs in our house!Father: no thugs in our house!Complete cast (in unison): no thugs in our house, dear!Set design by andy partridge with co-ordination by ken ansell.Stage and scenery by art dragon