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Song title: Arrogant Worms - The Mountie Song

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When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be cop in a province town or county
I thought it would be great if someday I could only ever be a mountie
I wanted to beat up crooks and make arrests because thats part of the profession
But now I sit on my horse and tell american tourists the parliaments in session
I really dont look good in red and my stupid hat flies off my head in every parade
Im young and strong and have no fear but now Im spending my career in motorcades

I wanna enforce the law, I wanna wear normal clothes
I dont wanna have to smile for diplomats home videos
I good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard
Oh no, the rcmp
Is not the life for me

I used to think that a mountie had to be honest, loyal, humble, strong and thrifty
But even though we dont break ranks, we get no thanks, they took us off the fifty (dollar bill)
On sussex drive in hallowed halls we act like guards in shopping malls, its such a pain
Like someones plotting the assassination of the minister if sports and recreation, oh thats insane
Sometimes I just want to puke on sergeant preston of the yukon, dudley do-rights such a jerk (damn you, snidely)
And though he tries with all his heart, my horse couldnt catch a golfing cart, some days I hate to go to work

Oh, no, its not the life for me
Oh, no, its not the life for me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me