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Song title: Half Man Half Biscuit - Twydale's Lament

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Indicate then you stupid bastard
How was I supposed to know
That you intended to go left
Iâ€™m not a mind reader

You shall be cast away into the fiery pit
And in the fiery pit there are
Eternal sleeping policemen

I saw a young professional couple playing Poohsticks on a Cotswold bridge
I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream
Before heading north to Warwick Arts Centre and Marianne Faithfull
Splendid

I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway
And took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening
As thatâ€™s where he likes to go for the quiz
He believes he is needed for the music round
His friends obviously humour him
Anyway, I place myself at a nearby table
And whenever he tries to light up a cigarette
I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands
Which he finds most annoying
Most annoying

Gouranga Gouranga
Yes Iâ€™ll be happy
When youâ€™ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
Gouranga Gouranga
Yes Iâ€™ll be happy
When youâ€™ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
Gouranga Gouranga
Yes Iâ€™ll be happy
When youâ€™ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
Gouranga Gouranga
Yes Iâ€™ll be happy
When youâ€™ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
Gouranga Gouranga
Yes Iâ€™ll be happy
When youâ€™ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
Gouranga Gouranga
Yes Iâ€™ll be happyâ€¦