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Austin Lounge Lizards - Half A Man Lyrics

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  • (Hank Card)
  • We'd like to set the record straight by singing of the newt
  • For newts are open-minded; they are flexible and cute
  • A newt can breathe in water and a newt can breathe on land
  • And if you are a different critter newts will understand
  • Newts are not mean-spirited; they never are unfair
  • Newts are not underhanded and are not afraid to share
  • Newts do not have bad haircuts because newts are lacking hair
  • But the newt called Gingrich drives all true newts to despair
  • Gingrich the Newt's a disgrace to the name
  • When true newts see him they feel so ashamed
  • He's the black sheep of the newt family
  • The one rotten fruit on the newt family tree
  • Newts don't prey on other newts; in that they don't believe
  • And you will never catch a newt with something up his sleeve
  • They're tolerant to different environments and so
  • They don't sen little newties to the orphanage to grow
  • What kind of newt wears a suit and a tie
  • And frightens small children as he rushes by?
  • But we admit that his suit suits him good
  • Much more discreet than a sheet and a hood
  • A newt may be cold-blooded but he won't go to extremes
  • And you can trust a newt to be exactly what he seems
  • Newts are sorry if you're sad; they're happy if you're gay
  • But Gingrich is perverse, and worse
  • He's proud to be that way
  • Gingrich the Newt is puffed up like a toad
  • So full of himself that he's bound to explode
  • And then we'll raise up our tails in salute
  • A fitting tribute
  • To that horse's patoot
  • Gingrich the Newt

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