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Billy Connolly - D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Lyrics

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  • Our little dog is six years old, and he's smart as any damn kid.
  • But when you mention the V. E. T. He damn near flips his lid.
  • Words like S. H. O. T. Shot or W. O. Are. M. Worm,
  • These are words which make him S. Q. You. I. Are. M. Squirm.
  • His Q. You. A. Are. A. N. T. I. N. E starts today,
  • Because he bit the V. E. T. And then he ran away.
  • He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, both of them bit me.
  • And that's why I am gonnae get a D. I. V. O. Are. C. E.
  • She shouted "get him Rover," and he jumped over, and bit my L. E. G.
  • She sank her teeth in my B. You. M. And called me an effin B.
  • Well I'm telling you, that was my cue, to get O. F. F.-ski
  • And I'm going down to the town tonight to get a new B. I. Are. D.
  • Oh yes his Q. You. A. Are. A. N. T. I. N. E starts today.
  • Both my wife and my wee scabby dug will soon be hauled away.
  • That's why I spell out all these words, so as my dog can't hear.
  • Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q. You. E. Are. Queer.
  • Oh, I must admit that dog is acting Q. You. E. Are. Queer.

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