Digital Underground - Packet Man Lyrics
Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packetstoday? Yo, B, don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?Cool, just trying to get your attentionSo you can take a look at this inventionNow peep these, I got some more in my jacket[Man, what are these, condoms?]Uh uh: sex packetsIt's like a pill, you can either chew it upOr like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cupAnd get this: see the girl on the cover?You black out, and she becomes your lover[You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic[Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]Wrong again, my man, this is way more realBut since you know everything, I'll make someone else a dealYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet man[Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it]Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it[Well what exactly do I get?]Well read what it says, look at the picture [BetIt says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,Hmmm, this one here says young black virginMan this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure anget me a few of these things.How long do they last?]Well it depends, let's seeThese cheap ones here are ten minutesBut these are extra power, they last about a half an hourAnd these here sell for bout 40'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]Right, and if you're married, it's no big dealYou're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pillAnd if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sackIt's cool, take a packet foolBiochemically compacted sexual affectionNow here, take a look at my selectionYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet man[OK, I want these two boxes of threeAnd give my blondy here, and that one that says orgyAnd, by the way, I need something for my woman]Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]Now let me tell you how to take it:Either sit of lie down, and you really should be *****Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?This is more then just a dreamIt's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mindSo be careful: only take one at a timeAnd never take one behind the wheelYou'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it evenBut don't pull your money out yet, seeThere's one or two narcs in this area that sweat meOver here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]Here's my number, in case you need to reach me againAnd remember, you need to be as safe as you canThere's only one thing safer then using your handDial that beeper number, and call the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet manYeah he's the packet man
