Ed Helms - Allentown Lyrics
Well we're sitting here in Allentown,And he's driven our lives into the ground,When we woke up we were wasted and drunk,Phil got shot,We got beaten by a monk,I was happy and my life was good,Getting married like a dentist should,Roasting marshmallows on a stick,I got *****ed in the ass,By a chick with a dick,(Alan: I remember that...)And we're sitting here in Allentown,But they're taking Teddy's finger now,And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna loose my shit,And shoot Alan in the face,... then shoot myself