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Goldie Lookin' Chain - No Joke Lyrics

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  • 'alright clart! i saw you in fukin' Zanzi's dinni? what happened to you on Friday, clart?'
  • 'aw, you're never gonna believe it, man! it's so unsafe, i got busted for havin' the well known rave drug, speed, innit!'
  • 'you're fukin' jokin' me, son...tell me more about it'
  • 'serious, it all started out like this, man...'
  • Pig: This interview is being tape recorded and it may be given in evidence if your case is brought to trial. At the conclusion you will be provided with a copy of the tape and a form explaining what happens to the tapes. We're in an interview room at Newport Central police station, can you give your full name and date of birth, please.
  • I'm John Ben-Wa Balls and i'm goin' up the walls
  • I went out with my mates to see the waterfalls
  • No, really, i'm lying, i went to a club
  • And i got some crazy rave drugs and start to get wrecked up
  • Next thing i know, i'm in the bad end of town
  • I'm getting wrecked up and the police start to frown
  • They pulled me aside, saw the bag of speed
  • They even busted me for 'avin a toke on some weed
  • It's crazy, it's shit, i want to go have a good time
  • Next thing i know, i'm talking to PC59
  • He tried to do me for havin' loads of crazy fukin' drugs
  • I just wanted to get mad and cut a few fukin' rubs
  • Chorus -
  • It ain't no joke, it's a poor mans coke
  • I got busted by the law while i was havin' a toke
  • It ain't no joke, it's a poor mans coke
  • I got busted by the law while i was havin' a toke
  • I takes loads of drugs, i does 'em all the time
  • My mother threw me out the council house outta my mind
  • Now i'm on the streets with the GLC crew
  • And i takes the ecstasy to my fukin' nan too(?)
  • The police sat me in a cell
  • In there was Ben-Wa Balls as well
  • Smoked some draw and took some pills
  • And asked a bloke in a dress for some fukin' cheap thrills, innit
  • 'GLC...2000+1'
  • 'GLC, maximum pressure, you knows it, 1983, the year it all started, respect, you knows it, Ben-Wa Balls, Loveggs, fukin' Billy Webb, Adam Hussain, respect, Two Hats, knows it'
  • Pig: That concludes the interview. Is there anything else you wish to add or clarify in connection to what you have said?
  • Yeah, fuk you, i do's what i gotta do
  • If it involves drinking beer and sniffing fukin' funky glue
  • Then i'll do it, you can't stop me cos i'm feelin' fukin mad
  • And if you tries to fuk with me i'll get you beaten up by my dad
  • 'Big shout out to Woody who sold me the draw, Johnny Seko(?), all the crew, fukin' safe'
  • 'Big shout out to Carl from Risker, he sold me the fukin' draw, he's safe, oh, and Charlotte as well, in fukin' Scarletts, wicked'
  • 'Shout to Mad Keith who sold me the fukin' speed and the draw, you knows it, he can fukin' sort you out'
  • 'Yo man, shouts to Terry Smithser(?) who got me 39 ounces of weed in under half an hour! you knows it!'
  • Pig: That white wrapping is exhibit MAC1, it is a piece of paper containing amphetamine, or what you believe to be amphetamine
  • Chorus -
  • It ain't no joke, it's a poor mans coke
  • I got busted by the law while i was havin' a toke
  • It ain't no joke, it's a poor mans coke
  • I got busted by the law while i was havin' a toke
  • knows it...GLC...
  • 2000AD, aka Two Hats, you see
  • Got busted for takin' the fukin' ecstasy
  • Gurning like a *****, be on coke if i was rich
  • But i gotta go to the toilets cos i got a bit of an itch
  • I takes the drugs but i don't have fights
  • So why did the bastards read me my rights?
  • Pig: You bought it in TJ's last Friday for five pounds and you were going to use it for your own personal possession, is that correct?

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