Half Man Half Biscuit - Surging Out Of Convalescence Lyrics
Darts in soap operas, oh, so wrong, oh so wrongNo-one’s scoring and there’s too much chat between each throwWorse than this though is when cheers are raised for the bullGranted, bull’s a double and an out, but I know that they don’tKnow, thereforeI proposeNo Soap DartsIs your child hyperactive, or is he perhaps a twat?Sometimes I like to watch Wave Rage down on Fistral BeachLast Ash Wednesday I had tantric sex and it was shitNext Ash Wednesday I might strive to lick my elbowStrive in vainFor they sayFew succeedI wrote to the Horse & HoundsTo gloat over what I’d doneI stored their magazine in a data retrieval systemLet’s face it, what’re they going to do?It’s not as if they know where I liveAnd anyway I cut that caper back in 1984Heartbroken matronsOn joyless bedsFor those whose souls the iron has enteredAnd if I get to Heaven’s gateI’ll doubtless have to waitWhile St Peter investigates the inevitable asteriskThe inside of a Halex Three-Star table-tennis ballSmells much like you’d expect it to