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Half Man Half Biscuit - Twydale's Lament Lyrics

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  • Indicate then you stupid bastard
  • How was I supposed to know
  • That you intended to go left
  • I’m not a mind reader
  • You shall be cast away into the fiery pit
  • And in the fiery pit there are
  • Eternal sleeping policemen
  • I saw a young professional couple playing Poohsticks on a Cotswold bridge
  • I watched them walk along the banks of the Windrush eating jasmine ice cream
  • Before heading north to Warwick Arts Centre and Marianne Faithfull
  • Splendid
  • I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway
  • And took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening
  • As that’s where he likes to go for the quiz
  • He believes he is needed for the music round
  • His friends obviously humour him
  • Anyway, I place myself at a nearby table
  • And whenever he tries to light up a cigarette
  • I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands
  • Which he finds most annoying
  • Most annoying
  • Gouranga Gouranga
  • Yes I’ll be happy
  • When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
  • Gouranga Gouranga
  • Yes I’ll be happy
  • When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
  • Gouranga Gouranga
  • Yes I’ll be happy
  • When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
  • Gouranga Gouranga
  • Yes I’ll be happy
  • When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
  • Gouranga Gouranga
  • Yes I’ll be happy
  • When you’ve been arrested for defacing the bridge
  • Gouranga Gouranga
  • Yes I’ll be happy…

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