Jonathan Coulton - Ikea Lyrics
Long ago in days of yoreIt all began with a god named Thor.There were Vikings and boatsAnd some plans for a furniture store.It's not a bodega, it's not a mallAnd they sell things for apartments smaller than mineAs if there were apartments smaller than mineIkea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of NorsemenIkea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced menEveryone has a homeAnd if you don't have a home you can buy one thereSo rent a car or take the busLay your cash down and put your trustIn the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller sizeBilly the bookcase says helloAnd so does a table whose name is IngoAnd the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him KarlIkea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of NorsemenIkea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced menEveryone has a homeAnd if you don't have a home you can buy one thereIkea: plywood, brushed steelIkea: meatballs, tastyIkea: Allen wrenchesAll of them for freeAll of them for meI'm sorry I said Ikea sucksI just bought a table for 60 bucksAnd a chair and a lampAnd a shelf and some candles for youI was a doubter just like youTill I saw the American dream come trueIn New Jersey, they got a god damned Swedish paradeIkea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of NorsemenIkea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced menEveryone has a homeBut if you don't have a home you can buy one there