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King Missile - Dick Lyrics

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  • Dick was obsessed with his dick.
  • He would beat off at least three times a day:
  • In the morning, when he woke up,
  • Right after or right before dinner,
  • Or right before he went to sleep.
  • If he didn't get in his three daily beat-off sessions,
  • He was a pain in the ass to be around.
  • He jerked off to tv-
  • Especially I Dream of Jenie and Dynasty and Charlie's Angels;
  • He pulled his pud to porno books;
  • He even jerked off
  • To the underwear ads
  • In the magazine section of the Sunday New York Times.
  • If you were a girl, talking to him on the phone,
  • Chances are he was beating his meat to the sound of your voice.
  • 'Cause coming was his raison d'etre.
  • One time he was in the middle of jerking off to Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune
  • When a job offer came to him over the phone
  • And he needed the job bad
  • But he told the man he'd call him right back,
  • 'Cause he needed to come more than he needed the job.
  • It wasn't that he was ugly or afraid of women or anything like that
  • He just honestly preferred his right hand.
  • I saw him the other day,
  • And he told me that last friday he was with two girls at their place
  • And they both wanted him to stay over.
  • But he went home,
  • Called up another girl,
  • and jacked off while talking to her.
  • I don't know why he tells me this stuff.
  • Dick's a *****ed up guy.

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