Monty Python - Bruces / Philosophers' Song Lyrics
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-antwho was very rarely stableHeidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggarwho could think you under the tableDavid Hume could out-consumeSchopenhauer and HegelAnd Wittgenstein was a beery swinewho was just as sloshed as SchlegelThere's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'bout the raising of the wristSocrates himself was permanently pissedJohn Stewart Mill of his own free willon half a pint of shandy was particularly illPlato they say could stick it away'alf a crate of whisky every dayAristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottleHobbes was fond of his dramAnd Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:"I drink, therefore I am"Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missedA lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed