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Monty Python - Bruces / Philosophers' Song Lyrics

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  • Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
  • who was very rarely stable
  • Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
  • who could think you under the table
  • David Hume could out-consume
  • Schopenhauer and Hegel
  • And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
  • who was just as sloshed as Schlegel
  • There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
  • 'bout the raising of the wrist
  • Socrates himself was permanently pissed
  • John Stewart Mill of his own free will
  • on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
  • Plato they say could stick it away
  • 'alf a crate of whisky every day
  • Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
  • Hobbes was fond of his dram
  • And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
  • "I drink, therefore I am"
  • Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
  • A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed

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