Pat Carroll - Poor Unfortunate Souls Lyrics
The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself!Can you do that?My dear, sweet child, that's what I do! It's what I live for!To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself.Poor souls with no one else to turn to.I admit that in the past I've been a nastyThey weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witchBut you'll find that nowadaysI've mended all my waysRepented, seen the light, and made a switchTrue? Yes!And I fortunately know a little magicIt's a talent that I always have possessedAnd dear lady, please don't laughI use it on behalfOf the miserable, lonely and depressed (Pathetic)Poor unfortunate soulsIn painIn needThis one longing to be thinnerThat one wants to get the girlAnd do I help them?Yes, indeedThose poor unfortunate soulsSo sadSo trueThey come flocking to my cauldronCrying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"And I help them?Yes, I doNow it's happened once or twiceSomeone couldn't pay the priceAnd I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coalsYes, I've had the odd complaintBut on the whole, I've been a saintTo those poor unfortunate soulsHave we got a deal?If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.But, you'll have your man.Life's full of tough choices, innit? Oh!And there is one more thing!We haven't discussed the subject of payment.But I don't have any -I'm not asking much. Just a token, really!A trifle! What I want from you is... your voice.But without my voice, how can I -You'll have your looks! Your pretty face!And don't underestimate the importance of body language! Ha!The men up there don't like a lot of blabberThey think a girl who gossips is a boreYes, on land, it's much preferredFor ladies not to say a wordAnd after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversationTrue gentlemen avoid it when they canBut they dote and swoon and fawnOn a lady who's withdrawnIt's she who holds her tongue who gets her manCome on, you poor unfortunate soulGo aheadMake your choiceI'm a very busy womanAnd I haven't got all dayIt won't cost muchJust your voiceYou poor unfortunate soulIt's sadBut trueIf you want to cross a bridge, my sweetYou've got to pay the tollTake a gulp and take a breathAnd go ahead and sign the scrollThe boss is on a rollThis poor unfortunate soul
