Phil Harris - Darktown Poker Club Lyrics
Bill Jackson was a poor old dubWho joined the Darktown Poker ClubBut cursed the day he told them he would joinHis money used to go like it had wingsIf he yelled queens, someone had kingsAnd each night he would contribute all his coinThen he said IHe said there’ll be no bobtail flushes make me bite‘Cause when I gets in them my hands will be a peachAnd he played them tight but lost his pileAnd Bill got peevish after a whileSo he rose, looked all around, and made this speechHe said you all see this brand new razorI had it sharpened just todayNow I’m coming in there with my rulesThat you must follow when you playNow keep your big bony hands on the tableWhile you dealing, pleaseAnd don’t be slippin’ them aces down thereEr, in between your kneesAnd don’t be makin’ all them funny signsLike you tryin’ to tip off your handJust talk in American, boy, AmericanSo’s I can understandAnd don’t be dealin’ off the bottomBecause ooh that’s roughTake five, five, then stop, that’s enoughNow when you bet put up the chipsBecause I don’t like it when you shyThen if you get busted go on out and get someI’m gonna be here by and byPass them cards for me to shuffleEverytime before you dealsThen if anything’s wrong, I must see‘Cause I mean, you always ain’t no, erKeep playin’ that game according to Mr. HoyleYou all play this game accordin’ to meNow sittin’ right there in that there clanThere chance to be a one-eyed manAnd Bill kept watchin’ him out the corner of his eyeWhen ole one-eye would deal and thenWould cost that Bill another five or tenBill got up again, looked all around him with a sighHe said, Lord, this is an awful shameHe said, There someone cheatin’ in this ‘ere gameHe said, it goes, er,It ain’t no do for me to name the guySo I’ll refrain from mentioning the party’s nameIf I catch him cheatin’ just once againI’m gonna take my fist and close that other eyeNow you see this brand new razorI had it sharpened just todayI’m comin’ in there with my own rulesThat you must follow when you playHey kid, keep your hands up thereWhile you’re givin’ them out, pleaseStop puttin’ them wildiesDown there ‘tween your kneesStop makin’ all them funny signsLike you’re tryin’ to tip off your handKeep talkin’ in American, big AAAThat’s what I can understandAnd don’t be getting’ them off the bottomBecause I keep tryin’ to tell you it’s roughThis an army game, five, five, halt, that’s enoughNow when you bet let me see the reds and blues‘Cause I don’t like it when you shyThen if you run out of gas, go get pumped upI’m gonna be here by and byPass them pasteboards for me to shuffleEverytime before you deal, let me rippleAnything wrong, I wanna seeI mean, you always ain’t gonna keep playin’ the game nowAccording to that Mr. HoyleYou all gonna play this game according to meHenry, if you break the seal on that new deck of bicyclesWe’ll go on from there, yeahYeah yeah yeah
