Romanovsky & Phillips - Straightening Up The House Lyrics
Sometimes getting the house ready for Mom & Dad's visit requiresmore than a dust rag and some Pledge...)Today I took the *****s down off the wallTen minutes after I received her telephone callShe'll be here Friday morning so there's not much time to cleanBetter hide the Advocate and Mandate magazineWe'll redecorate the guest room so it looks like it's been usedSeparate our wardrobes or she'll really be confusedThen get ready for a lonely week of sleeping on the couchWe're straightening up the houseTomorrow I will put away your gay pride shirtsAnd our Halloween assortment of jewelry, pumps and skirtsThen pack up all the books by Quentin Crisp and Rita MaeAnd the "His & His" towels that you bought me yesterdayAnd you'd better hide the albums by that lesbian groupShe has no ear for music, but she has been known to snoopAnd remember not to kiss me, just forget that you're my spouseStraightening up the houseThe snapshots of the two of us in Spain will have to goDon't tell me this is totally insane, because I knowAnd I cannot wear the wristwatch with our names engraved in goldThe one that says "I love you, John, with all my heart and soul"This is our first Christmas here in our new homeIn a hostile world, it's our only safety zoneI never should have promised I'd continue with this lieBut Dad was so certain if she found out she would dieBut if it's killing anyone I think it's killing me'Cause it tears me up inside to hide my true identityAnd asking you to help me makes me feel like such a louseI'm thirty-two years old, why am I acting like a mouse?I'm a man and he's my loverIf she freaks out she'll recoverC'mon and help me to just CLEAN the house
